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Teen Poetry #7
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Surrender
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Surrender |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA 
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So many days and nights, Images of your beauty, Leapt up in a fiery flight, Time and thoughts blend, Leaving behind a trail, Of wounds that need to be mend, Too many failed chances, Guess I never knew you, How to give you the romance, I let the world take you, You wanted to leave- From day one, who knew? No more eyes filled with tears, Even though, each day, My heart is filled with fear, Lost you now for sure, Not too many ways to say it, But my love was poor, Could not keep you for a lifetime, Just wanted a chance to show you, Your heart is intone with mine, Thought about the perfect life, We spend those days dreaming, And you were my future wife, When this moment was to come, I lost my mind in one instance, To a broken heart I succumbed. I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved | |||
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
not bad. the only thing that i didn't like was that it seemed like you sacrificed grammar for rhyme. the last line in the first couple of stanzas was hard to understand. it just took more work than should be required. once again, not bad. |
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