Teen Poetry #7 |
Ageless Brood |
Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
Boundless silence an aperture in verbalizing things felt but unspoken pondering whether you missed me too? or did i decipher incorrectly likely Another string of those cursed games you so enjoy to play Crimson juice flowing upon my soul from the lacerations upon my heart burning fresh from the sound of your voice I foresaw that day I was prepared! and in that moment i crashed to my knees driven by reminiscence of ardor And a ray hope illuminating the possibility that love might conquer the walls i built against you but i was driven to fall for in truth my love never failed and i ponder if you still love me too? 8-13-05 " Breathe life, for you are not alone" |
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© Copyright 2005 Michael Lentini - All Rights Reserved | |||
StarryEyed3 Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 58bostonia |
wow this is powerful... its so visual and flows so well. cant wait to read more "and i'll sit and wonder of every love that could have been |
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skoolyardturtle Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 96 |
this is good, i like it. You should post more often |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
not to be redundant, but this is really good. it's very powerful, and it just has a different feel toward it. i liked the part about games...and the ending was a good twist. i don't know what else to say...killswitch engage=yay? bergundy At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
Thank you guys, i'm glad you enjoyed it... i get some pleasure out of knowing i don't bore the hell out of people LoL I really appreciate it though, it makes writing and posting alot easier thanks so much " Breathe life, for you are not alone" |
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junemac Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005uk |
Hi Kaos, Just poppe3d by to read and I am glad I did. You have talent in abundance and I really enjoyed your use of words here. Good flow and powerful energy running through the whole poem. Yep ... truly good and fresh style poetry. Hugs June xx |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
bravo. very good. the only thought that i had though was that it was slightly wordy. most of the time you had great word usage and choice but about 3/4 of the way down it became a bit of a mouthful to read aloud. very good creativity though. please post more. |
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