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Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

0 posted 2005-08-15 12:54 PM

Boundless silence   an aperture
   in verbalizing things felt
       but unspoken
pondering   whether you missed me too?
   or did i decipher incorrectly
        likely
Another string of those cursed games
      you so enjoy to play
Crimson juice    flowing upon my soul
from the lacerations   upon my heart
   burning fresh from the sound of your voice
I foresaw that day    I was prepared!
   and in that moment
i crashed   to my knees
driven by reminiscence
     of ardor
And a ray     hope
  illuminating
the possibility
   that love might conquer
the walls i built against you
   but i was driven to fall
      for in truth
my love never failed
  and i ponder
if you still love me too?

8-13-05

" Breathe life, for you are not alone"
- Killswitch Engage

StarryEyed3
Member

since 2005-06-26

Posts 58
bostonia

1 posted 2005-08-16 01:53 PM

wow this is powerful... its so visual and flows so well. cant wait to read more

"and i'll sit and wonder of every love that could have been
if i'd only thought of something charming to say..." -death cab

skoolyardturtle
Member

since 2005-06-28

Posts 96

2 posted 2005-08-18 12:10 PM

this is good, i like it. You should post more often

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

3 posted 2005-08-23 01:58 AM

not to be redundant, but this is really good. it's very powerful, and it just has a different feel toward it. i liked the part about games...and the ending was a good twist. i don't know what else to say...killswitch engage=yay?

bergundy

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

4 posted 2005-08-24 10:46 PM

Thank you guys, i'm glad you enjoyed it... i get some pleasure out of knowing i don't bore the hell out of people LoL I really appreciate it though, it makes writing and posting alot easier

thanks so much

" Breathe life, for you are not alone"
- Killswitch Engage

junemac
Senior Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 1005
uk

5 posted 2005-08-30 02:37 PM

Hi Kaos,
Just poppe3d by to read and I am glad I did. You have talent in abundance and I really enjoyed your use of words here. Good flow and powerful energy running through the whole poem. Yep ... truly good and fresh style poetry.
Hugs June xx

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

6 posted 2005-08-30 05:56 PM

bravo. very good. the only thought that i had though was that it was slightly wordy. most of the time you had great word usage and choice but about 3/4 of the way down it became a bit of a mouthful to read aloud. very good creativity though. please post more.

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