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Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2005-08-08 12:40 PM

And She Sleeps

Stalker-talk for no reason
Make up polite conversation
So everyone feels a little more

Smile as you grit your teeth
Trip over your strangled sentences
I will see you soon
I will be you soon
And this still won’t make sense

Colored outside the lines
In kindergarten, of course everyone always knew
She’s a little broken on the outside
Damaged on the inside too
She never did quite look at you
But you envy her composure
With a sense of compassion
…it rivals something that slightly resembles LOVE.

And she sleeps in a brown paper sack
On the dark side of East Okay Boulevard
A cupboard for chipped coffee cups
And completely crippled souls

Still, smile as you grit your teeth
And stumble over life’s untied shoelaces
I will be you soon, she hears
I will see you soon
But this will never make sense.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

1 posted 2005-08-08 03:24 PM

Excellent writing Allysa, and this was superb...

And she sleeps in a brown paper sack
On the dark side of East Okay Boulevard
A cupboard for chipped coffee cups
And completely crippled souls

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

2 posted 2005-08-08 07:24 PM

Colored outside the lines
In kindergarten, of course everyone always knew
She’s a little broken on the outside
Damaged on the inside too
She never did quite look at you
But you envy her composure
With a sense of compassion
…it rivals something that slightly resembles LOVE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

oh man.. that verse is so cool...
so layered and angsty.. so honest, real...
I love this kind of "in your face" poetry...

And stumble over life’s untied shoelaces

what a great line of metaphor that is....
impressive writing... I'll have to check out more of your stuff as time allows.
well done Allysa.

I'll bare the brunt of your long buried pain
I don't mind helping you out ...
But I want you to remember my name

Alanis

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

3 posted 2005-08-09 02:43 PM

Thanks you guys, you know your opinions mean a lot to me.. It's especially nice to see some familiar faces!!

skoolyardturtle
Member

since 2005-06-28

Posts 96

4 posted 2005-08-10 12:45 PM

this write is oddly beautiful, it's almost scary. The metaphors are absolutely brilliant, awesome read.

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