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skoolyardturtle
Member

since 2005-06-28

Posts 96

0 posted 2005-08-02 11:37 PM

rain had seeped through
the sorrow filled writings
and unfinished love letters
a bad omen of things to come
there was very little color
in my memories of better times
the clouds were passing before my eyes
shielding the evil glare of the unforgiving summer sun
the wind had invaded my thoughts
as my thoughts flowed from eyes to my fingers
my pen to ink and ink to paper
nothing seemed to matter back then
my life slowly moved along
everyday felt like sleeping wide awake
i could see everything
the skies and clouds
the waves and shore
the stars were much brighter then
and midnight stretched into a void
of never ending possiblilities
i would run my hands over my uniform
the letters and numbers that rested on the back
meant nothing to me anymore
i was a follower of everything elusive
a soul with no particular identity
constantly reaching out to trap the wind between in my fingers
growing tired of trying to catch the sun
before it sank into the ocean
and with every ounce of my soul
tried to live the way i wanted
and found myself older and more foolish than ever
i climbed the stairs and stumbled into traffic
wandered through life without a direction
only to find
that finding a life was a life worth living
trying to fill in the lack of color
with pastels of oncoming future

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

1 posted 2005-08-06 09:57 PM

i'm not sure why anyone hasn't responded to this yet, but i think it's really good. it's lengthy, but still mostly manages to hold attention. my favorite line was:

everyday felt like sleeping wide awake

you used a lot of unique images that helped the poem have more power.

bergundy

Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

2 posted 2005-08-07 09:24 PM

' and midnight stretched into a void'

Beautiful! i loved that line, and enjoyed the read very much. I agree, the imagery was utilized well

" Breathe life, for you are not alone"
- Killswitch Engage

skoolyardturtle
Member

since 2005-06-28

Posts 96

3 posted 2005-08-10 12:38 PM

thanks

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