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Teen Poetry #7

Smile with a crooked face

* shining star*
Member

since 2005-06-29

Posts 76
PA,USA

0 posted 2005-07-18 01:22 AM

I miss you,
how I kissed your face,
and hugging you felt so right.
I never wanted to let you go.
But I did,
and you left again for good.

So here I am alone,
with a broken heart.
No one to talk to on the phone.
Because now we are apart,
I don't even know if you care.
Or even if you understand,
that I didn't want to play truth or dare.
I just wanted to hold your hand.
Just so you know,
even though you don't think of me.
I still love you.
So I'll smile.
And you'll give me that look
with a crooked face.

-Smile, it's not a sin.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

1 posted 2005-08-01 11:00 AM

The last line was the best. I just think that this is a little bland. Good effort though.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

2 posted 2005-08-23 01:47 AM

whatever, i liked it. truly.. nice job capturing the feeling, maybe i just am in the same boat right now tho so i can relate more then the other person. keep on keepin on...or something like that.

bergundy

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

3 posted 2005-08-23 06:36 PM

Hey guys... Thanks for posting and your replies, but this author encourages critiques, so lets respect what everyone has to say, even if we disagree.

As for me, I think it conveys your feelings very well. Thanks for posting

Love's a lovely lad
His bringing up is beauty
Who loves him not is mad
For I must pay him duty
-Anonymous

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