Teen Poetry #7 |
Remember When |
spaz02 Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 74USA |
Remember when We fell in love? Remember when I gave you my heart? Remember when Our thoughs ran wild? Remember when Everything was just right? Remember when I thought you were the one? Remember when You broke my heart? |
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© Copyright 2005 Amber Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
short and sweet. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I remember feeling like this... |
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* shining star* Member
since 2005-06-29
Posts 76PA,USA |
It sounds like it's not finished...but that could be just me. |
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SarBear Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 205Massachusetts |
this is good. There's a lot of repetition and that's good but I think maybe you could break it up a little because it gets a little too repetitive near the end. it is really good though and has a great meaning. |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
The one thing that I liked but disliked at the same time was the repetativeness. I liked it but I think it was alittle too close together. Maybe if you spread it out with 4 lines rather than 2. I like the idea though! And I know i've felt this way countless times. Keep it up! AIM-blueyed angel940 |
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~*BayBee*~ Member
since 2003-04-09
Posts 65In The Clouds... |
Ahh yes,.. i remember feeling all of this when i was in love... especially the breakup part.. That always seems to stick out more. Good job! *Holly* |
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