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Teen Poetry #7
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The Measurements of Life
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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The Measurements of Life |
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tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent 
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So many people measure life, in how many breaths were taken in all those years; When actually, we should measure life in how many breaths were taken away in all those moments spent with the one you truely love. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Everytime I see your face in my mind, all the colors of the earth, of the world around me, seem to blend into each other. Everytime I hear you voice, all the sounds of the city, of the excitements surrounding me, seem to fade away. Everytime I take a breath in you presence, all the oxygen in this sphere, and in my lungs, seems to evaporate in thin air. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ yeah this is blah... love will make you beautiful |
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| © Copyright 2005 Laura Risner - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Everytime I see your face in my mind, all the colors of the earth, of the world around me, seem to blend into each other." I liked where you were going here...then you just kinda trailed off...you should go back to this, and let the words come...it's good...  |
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shara Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 69florida/USA |
i'm going to have to agree with "sea" on this one, you were going somewhere with this peice then you kinda lost focus, but it has potential to be a really great read, i look forward to more from you. shara |
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tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
in the next few days i will re-write this... i just wrote it and didnt read what i was doin... thanks for the helpful comments. love will make you beautiful |
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