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| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Numb |
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WranglrButts9 Member
since 2004-10-24
Posts 108Iowa, US 
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It could use some major work.. but thats what PIP is for, suggestions & then to revise. lol Numb I stand at my mirror Looking through a haze At a pretty little girl With a battered face Black and blue, Swollen and hurt. But its not on the outside That these bruises are seen I hurt on the inside Both day and night But no one can see Behind the smile Respect is little Kindness is none Put downs are expected My feelings: numb I've been on a really big kick lately- the writer's block finally left! yayy! Bailey Good judgment comes from experience, |
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| © Copyright 2005 WranglrButts9 - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow, I think it's great like it is...but? are you ok? Is this personal poetry, or "just poetry" ? If you need to, I'm an email away...  |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is amazing the way it is... you have done an excelent job on this one... i do hope this is not personal experiecne because no one should ever have to go thru this... keep up the writing Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
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WranglrButts9 Member
since 2004-10-24
Posts 108Iowa, US |
Thanks. But lately I've been going off the beaten path and not writing about personal experiences, so no, I am not going through this right now. I do appreciate both of your concerns though! =D The only thing I didn't like about the piece was I thought the end was too abrubt, or just plain didn't make sense. But thanks for the compliments! Bailey Good judgment comes from experience, |
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