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Teen Poetry #7
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this is Remembering, about a very turbulent 5th grade year
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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this is Remembering, about a very turbulent 5th grade year |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Remembering, the good times, what didn’t last? Going there, peeling apart lies, looking back Not forgetting, the bad times, trying to not judge How I acted then, how others were, yet my outlook wont budge We were young, none of us thought ahead, to what might occur None of us knew, how it would affect, who we were Most of us paid a price, through that year we fought By the end we couldn’t trust, it was all for naught All we accomplished was finding how much hurt we could cause Looking ou,t knit picking, extorting each other’s flaws Because of us we destroyed, beyond repair All those not involved, had to suffer, it was hardly fair We couldn’t step back, realize what was being done Trust, close friends, among us by the end, there was none All couldn’t help but think about what had been said The fear put across, hurt caused, all the tears shed I could barely believe Before, friends, now this grief In some cases we have healed it, in others not able to forget You could say its gotten better; the others also forgot what they might regret Not one of us is innocent, guilty with out a doubt They can’t protest though they may try, scream and shout It all comes to nil, I was there too, and I saw them People I barely knew, ones I didn’t like, even my friends We hurt and were hurt, we cried and made cry Stopped trusting, lost it in others, none of this can we deny Its true or what I knew, maybe its not, I might never find out To this day what really happened, I can only tell what I saw come about Gossip train, once it gets you, you never stop You never get off, can’t help it, you don’t get back what you lost After all this it made us grow up, when it was over We were after what we started and finished much older |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Wow… I can understand this so well, except I’m afraid I didn’t start in 5th grade, but no matter, cause I feel like everyone will be able to understand this, will still feel the hurt and even shame from some of their past actions… All I can really say is well done, not much to add to that, I know it doesn’t seem like much, but I’d rather say what I think than not say it at all. You are one amazing writer; you definitely know how to transport a reader back in time. This was a very well written piece; I did notice one or two grammar errors but nothing major... I liked how you broke it down into stanzas, it really helped me keep my place while reading it was much appreciated. Once again I can’t wait to see what else you come up with  As always Stargal PS – You might want to know that you double posted this poem… @-->--- |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Oops sorry my computer is kinda messed up and been having problems recently. |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I really liked this alot.. i really related to it.. good job.. I can't wait to hear more. I agree with stargal.. you are a very talented writer.. ~Heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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