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Teen Poetry #7

disintegrating.

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

0 posted 2005-03-13 07:44 PM

those swirling cherries;
i stared so
hard i thought my eyes
were bulging out of
their tired sockets.
i searched around in the
darkness as we
three listened intently
to the vomiting
on her mother's new
beige carpet.
she held her ears,
i held my eyes.
closed.
or towards the ceiling
so i wouldn’t have to
concentrate
on her pain.
we held ourselves at each
others mercy,
the heat billowing up
through the rusty vents.
always hot even
with the spinning
ceiling fan.
around and around,
we fell onto the
ground.
and somewhere in
between
our silent breathing
and her heaving
sobs,
i found a part of myself.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

1 posted 2005-03-14 11:24 PM

okay honestly most of your stuff is WEIRD AS HELL...but honestly, i f'in love it! you are one of my favorite poets at pip, and i'm not just saying that to be like 'blah blah you rock' i'm sick of these replys being like 'yeah you're great!"

unfortunately this poem is great to me...so i guess i'll have to save my criticism for someone else. this is definetely going into my library because for some odd reason i can relate it to myself in a really nice way. thanks.

bergundy

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

2 posted 2005-03-15 07:39 PM

this reminds me of...myself.
I love it. its amazing. it could be the best thing I've read from you.
you have a gift.

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