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Teen Poetry #7
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The act...
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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The act... |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Locked inside herself she sits Waiting for the pain that’s about to hit The memories seem so surreal As she thinks about his death… Uncle hanging from a beam With a rope around his neck Like a plastic doll he swings Gently with the breeze… He didn’t have to go Yet he seemed to panic With his beauty fading His face graying He gave up to the façade… She tried to make him stop Tried to make him just believe Yet how helpless she must appear To those that are so bold… Blinking her eyes She stares upon her hands Clearing away the past Raising up her head Once again the audience claps… @-->--- |
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| © Copyright 2006 stargal - All Rights Reserved | |||
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
omg for being early in the morning (i looked at the time) u are a good poet! i say taht in all honesty. i however AM NOT haha. this got to my morbid side...hearing about a man hanging himsef... no i really liked this. i like it alot. good job stargal |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I LOVED this poem by you stargal.. I have to admit.. I like getting your feedback you usually have somthing constructive to say but your poetry is not my favorite on this site.. BUT this was wonderful.. the best i've read all day.. keep it up.. HOpe to HEar more like this. ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Umm, thanks Heather? It’s nice to have someone appreciate your work when they don’t usually like it… Bekahlekah45 - Thank you so much for the comment, although, if you really look at the time, my time, it was only 11:30 at night  @-->--- |
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pen&paper Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513 |
I really liked this!kind of creepy at first..But I LOVED IT!!! hope to see lots more from you. ...Rerra L. |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
LOL it was 2:19am here! hahaha wow! what a difference! no wonder i was like HOLY COW!! |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
stargal.. I wasn't trying to be mean and say I never liked your work.. just that I don't relate to it as much. Sorry if I sounded mean.. I really truly wasn't trying to be.. great piece though. ~Heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
No apology necessary Heather. I can understand if you do not relate well to what I write, heck, half of the time I don’t even relate to what I write either! @-->--- |
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girlskater117 Junior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 32 |
Same with me. Good one. I like all your poems and i really like this one.Well im going to go off and read more of yours. Amber |
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WaterFairy103 Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196 |
Wow, that's awesome! Dance like nobody's watching, |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
Hey i really liked this. Very haunting. LOVED IT! John O. True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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scyzoryk_o4 Junior Member
since 2006-05-23
Posts 36Canada and Poland |
Hey Well I guess every one else already said how good this poem is so there’s no point of repeating it. But OMG really this is a poem I would expect to see in a world renowned book of poetry, honestly reading it was like candy to my ears and mind. It just flows so well and leaves such a strong impression. This is definitely the best poem I’ve read by you. Maksym |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Thanks for all the replys everyone! They are much appreciated... Although, I must admit this is the older version of this poem, I have already gone through and rewritten this one Thank you for taking the time to comment though! @-->--- |
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WaterFairy103 Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196 |
OK, yeah, I know i already told you how much I like this poem, but I'd like to say something else. I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE!!! You're always positive and constructive, and you're an amazing poet...so...thanks for bein' here!! Dance like nobody's watching, |
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