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One-Eighty
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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One-Eighty |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
I exhale through the tears when seconds feel like years. All I can think about is the end as it nears. It's out of my control I surrender my soul and anything it takes to satisfy the toll. Just let me close my eyes so I can't see the lies. It's too much to handle could this be our demise? You know that I love you so please don't say we're through. You said that you loved me so how can this be true? ______________________________ This is yet another one of my rant-poems, nothing meant to be improved upon. I promise that one day I'll start posting half-way decent poetry again. Until then, welcome to your window into my own little world. Thanks for reading. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Alicia Morris - All Rights Reserved | |||
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moonguardian2004 Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 64MA, USA |
I really liked this poem. It brought back memories of my own. If things are meant to be they will fall into place.If you think you can do better then I can't wait to see the next ones! Meredith~ ~*To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path and don't worry about the darkness for that is when stars shine oh so bright !~ |
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tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
ok im gonna "rip it apart" i liked it no doubt but i personally feel as if there is too much rhyming... i dunno just my opinion... i liked it tho... the meaning and all laura |
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tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
ok im gonna "rip it apart" i liked it no doubt but i personally feel as if there is too much rhyming... i dunno just my opinion... i liked it tho... the meaning and all laura |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is beautiful... it brings back memories for me of the last 3-4 months.... thankyou for posting this poem... i think that some of the rhyming in this wass a lil bit forced and interfeared with the flow but other than this is a great poem... keep posting Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
Thanks for replying, guys. I agree about the rhyming, but like I said, it's not one I'm concerned with improving. Just one of those things that comes out in the moment and has now served it's purpose. I promise one of these days I'll put something on here that you guys can tear to shreds and have all kinds of fun with  . |
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electricxheart Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 184far away from home. |
'I exhale through the tears when seconds feel like years. All I can think about is the end as it nears.' I personally really liked it. I agree with the rhyming being forced but it was easy to relate to and it had a good meaning. -Kelly remember to breathe after you exhale. |
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