Rewrites from 2003 #2 - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #7

Rewrites from 2003 #2

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

0 posted 2004-12-29 11:17 PM

Unworthy 06-22-2003
Sensitivity my top commonality/
a senseless commodity
me, nothing in comparision to you.
hopeless, a rigid normality
me, only I.

Content to praise you,
will never measure up to your ways,
Stunningly still stuck in your gaze,
For all of my days.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2004-12-30 10:42 AM

I love the way you wrote the first part of this. Its sort of choppy like you penned your exact thoughts and didn't alter them. hey, you live sort of close to me.
take care.

There's no reason I'm oversleeping
dreamin' my life away...I'm not sure if I'm still breathing so I'll put on a happy face

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

2 posted 2004-12-30 11:21 AM

wonderful.

*Alli4000*