december is so orange and shining

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Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

0 posted 2004-12-26 11:32 PM

I don't really want anything. I just sit with someone whos happy and sees the world as adventureous and who cracks jokes even if there not funny as we make fun of all the serious faced people....

Hello there my friend. I bid you tidings from an oh so far away and distant land. I would describe it to you except the scenery would blow your mind. Not really, not truely except for the far part. Would the moving together of feet bring any level of new insight. It's bound to have grown dull. I feel like I've been traveling for days stuck with the smell of fast food on my hands though I wash them in their dirty bathrooms over and over again. And as we stop to refuel under these gas station lights your features get washed out, there's all sorts people here and when we get caught in that half a second stare we tell where were going and its similiar in shape, for we all hold that look of escape. I don't care if I'm broken, I don't care what I've seen. I'm still who I used to be. Elmers glue and felt, I'm not careful and I'm not soft. I quit my job purely on feeling and inner sense of value. I sat next to my dad and followed along with the scriptures I know by heart, I grabbed his hand and he smiled and it felt nice to please him, its been so long sense I could please anyone. No one knows me and I don't say that in pity. I've hong myself on the rusting hanger next to the dusting jackets and now that I'm coming out of the closet what do I think when I reach the mirror. The mirror that's been rebuilt. What the hell do I think. hmmm? Christmas never meant anything to me. It always seemed a bit like ugly run way models and american cheese. Fake and shining and too damn orange under the december lighting.

There's no reason I'm oversleeping
dreamin' my life away...I'm not sure if I'm still breathing so I'll put on a happy face

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

1 posted 2004-12-29 12:31 PM

haha...i really enjoyed this. it was...poetic thinking. this is great stuff. too bad this has no replies yet. what a shame, what a shame. well done.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

2 posted 2005-01-07 12:12 PM

this was cool, i especially loved the last line. poetry with a good last line always gets me. good job.

bergundy

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

3 posted 2005-01-23 01:24 PM

Lexy.

There are a few things I gotta say.

1) I love your Critique message. "Tell me your exact thoughts, not what you think I want to hear."  There is an awful lot of sugar-coating in this forum and I'm not all about that. You can count on getting my full on honest opinions, though I will try not to be harsh.  And I expect the same from everyone on my own work.

2) I remember you and thank you for replying to my post.  I hope to knock something good into this forum this time around... maybe in replies more than personal poetry posts.

3) I like this a lot. You aren't afraid to go against the grain with format or structure.  You have sass in your writing, you make me think, you make me curious.  You have the talent of inducing mood and you have a style that mocks and taints the world around you.  I like that.

4) Keep it up. I'll be keeping watch.

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