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Teen Poetry #7
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Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity

0 posted 2004-12-14 07:17 PM


Blissfully Bleeding;
I lye here eternally condemned.
On my knees praying with crimson wrists;
I am your child calling for salvation.
Longing to touch death with my pale hands,
my wings are delicately torn apart.
How can I be with you;
for through death I cannot fly.
Behind my beautifully innocent smiles,
theres unforgettable violence in my voice.
Too lost to be saved;
I remain trapped in my suicide.

* Is adult entertainment killing our children or is killing our children entertaining adults? * -Brian Warner

© Copyright 2004 Delaniie Quirk - All Rights Reserved
Fariegirl
Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 147

1 posted 2004-12-14 07:51 PM


I like this
fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
2 posted 2004-12-18 12:55 PM


yeah this is neat...obviously suicide isn't positive blah blah, but the images are really strong. i like it.  i think it's library worthy

bergundy

"Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man)

wvplayernotreally
Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215
yakima wa
3 posted 2004-12-19 05:49 PM


"to lost to be saved"
how true that is

I can't be your superman

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
4 posted 2005-01-23 04:19 PM


I liked this when you showed it to me before, and still like it now. It is really good, powerful imagery.
Hugs,
Lizzie.

"Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake

tearsoflove13762
Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent
5 posted 2005-01-23 04:38 PM


"too lost to be saved"
how untrue that is... i guess it is the way you look at it... is you glass half empty or half full... depends on whether i am filling it up or drinking it..


Laura

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245

6 posted 2005-01-23 04:41 PM


I thought there was a rule against suicidal poetry?

It's not bad. It's moderately typical. But it's not badly written.

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