The Spiteful Workings of Your Mind

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WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

0 posted 2004-12-04 11:10 PM

Im not sure how I feel about this one yet. Not my best work, but they can't all be good all the time right? Here it is anyway, with all of it's faults...

The Spiteful Workings of Your Mind

And Im only slightly disappointed that you don’t care
If you were expecting more than this response
then you’re going to be let down

Im sure you were looking forward to
at least a shocked reaction
and no doubt you even reveled in
the thought of me crying because of you

But I’ve forgotten how to shed tears
and I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction
of seeing past this exterior.

Your angry look
in the face of my indifferent one
finally brings forth an emotion to the surface
but it’s just a sardonic smile
at the irony of your situation

I see your mind start to work
as you think of a way to elongate my pain
you grin as you say
“Should we try to make this work, my dear?”
And I’ll just laugh and tell you,

Your game of pretend was more boring than most,
the costume you used was so easy to see through
and the only thing entertaining was the way I had you fooled
you thought I fell for your cheap lies
but I could always determine your next move.

Others have tried to break me
much before you
maybe I should thank them
for tempering me so
because now I can tell you,
you lose.

But Im comforted
by the fact that I can hurt inside
all I want to
without anyone ever knowing
~WinterWren~

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

1 posted 2004-12-04 11:16 PM

i thought this poem was really well worded, and full of thought, and emotion. all characteristics that i greatly admire. i enjoyed your work here tremendously.

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

2 posted 2004-12-05 02:22 AM

All I have to say, Stef (it looks funny with the 'ph,' hope this sub is ok), is D--- right! You got it right, I hate people who use their ability of manipulation to cause pain and use people for their own selfish reasons. I'm glad you could beat this person at their own game. I really like this poem, and you should have pride in it! It really is great, as is the soul behind it.

Glad to see something new by you here; I was getting worried about you. Almost enough to warrent an email. Nice to have you back!

-Rich

Winamp Is Playing:
"Feelin' Way To Da*n Good"
Nickelback
Feelin' Way To Da*n Good

"I'm burning in the heavens,
and I'm drowning in a hell.
And my soul is in a coma
and none of my friends can tell,"
~Take Me~ Papa Roach

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2004-12-05 11:52 AM

You were worried about me? I feel better now, Yeah I was just having a really bad month. Thanks for the concern.

But Im comforted
by the fact that I can hurt inside
all I want to
without anyone ever knowing
~WinterWren~

tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

4 posted 2004-12-05 02:08 PM

dang lol this poem makes me wanna stand up and say "you go girl!" hehe awesome write, and if this is from personal experience(which I'm sure it is since most poems are) then I'm glad that you were able to beat him at his own game!

AIM-blueyed angel940
One day u'll ask which is more important,u or my life. I'll answer my life and u'll walk away never knowing u are my life.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

5 posted 2004-12-05 04:52 PM

~~Hey there Stef!~~ lmao...ok....I won't copy you Rich!

Hey there Stephanie!

You may not think this was your best work, but I still think that it's up there in the -awesome-amazing category.

Glad your better now.

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

6 posted 2004-12-05 06:16 PM

Don't worry, Alli.  After all, imitation is the  most sincere form of flattery...lol!

And yeah, Stef, I was worried.  It seemed like you might have taken a leave of absence similar to mine; and if they we're like mine, then there was a serious reason for it, usually something sad and unhappy.  That, and I just like seeing your poems and replies, and was starting to miss ya!

                              -Rich

Winamp Is Playing:
"Don't Panic"
Coldplay
Parachutes

"I'm burning in the heavens,
and I'm drowning in a hell.
And my soul is in a coma
and none of my friends can tell,"
~Take Me~ Papa Roach

Savage Quiescence
Member

since 2002-07-29

Posts 326
Wandering

7 posted 2004-12-06 08:16 PM

Tapper already hit the nail on the head, "You go girl!"

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

8 posted 2004-12-07 11:44 AM

I really liked this, and I'm sure a lot of people can relate to it in one way or another, I'm glad you can tell the difference between someone caring, and someone faking. Well done.

"Cuz I'm broken, when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away..."~ Seether

"I shut my eyes and hold my cries to myself"~ Taproot

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

9 posted 2004-12-07 11:49 AM

Amazing work. Good job! ~Jess

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return" -Moulin Rouge

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