Teen Poetry #7 |
Resentment |
Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
Hello, everyone. Thanks for taking the time to read. This certainly isn't one of my better pieces, and it's not something I'm looking to improve. It's just a little piece I wrote to mend a broken heart and I thought I would share it with you. __ The comforting touch of his hand is simply no consolation, his voice cannot be heard in the darkness of my desolation. He can do nothing for me now I am numb to his affection. No feelings stir within my heart when I glance in his direction. And I blame it on you Broken now you left me bleeding the reminence of your lies dripping from my veins. Show me how I'm supposed to go on having tasted all I want but can never have. Remove this vow from before my eyes I can't afford to love you oh, no, but I do. How unfair that I should miss your voice, your touch the freckle beneath your left eye- When you don't care. When you don't miss me. I could disappear and you would never know. |
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© Copyright 2004 Alicia Morris - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kellie_Cantrell Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667New York |
I felt like that once, it sucked. I hope you feel better soon. Good write. |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Yeh, I've felt like that too. I like the poem...good job! ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Wow. This hit home so hard, it's scary. I can relate only too well. I couldn't have written this better myself. And no it doesn't need to improve, only because it's already amazing. Thanks for sharing, this is going in my library. But Im comforted |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
I quite like this, thanks for sharing it with us. Andrew |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow this is pretty powerful. You have a way with communicating your thoughts down into a very well written poem. I LOVED this one and it hit me where it hurts- some of my own memories. very well done. I do hope to read more from you "One good thing about music: when it hits you feel no pain"- Bob Marley |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
I liked this...I know where you're coming from unfortunitly, and it sucks. I'm sorry you're going through this. The poem was good nonetheless. "I tried so hard...But in the end...It doesn't even matter...."~Linkin Park |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
I know the feeling all too well. Good work, I hope to see more of your poems soon! ~Jess "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return" -Moulin Rouge |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
Thank you for all of your replies, they are greatly appreciated. I am glad I could write something that touched many people, but sad to hear that others have been through the same situation. It's encouraging to see that you all have made it and reminds me that I will, too. |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
I hate that; when someone leaves you so dead inside. It's like they rip the living soul right out of you; and all they had to do was walk away. No need to improve this one; raw and unedited suits you just fine! Sorry again that you feel this way, from one suffering heart to another. Rich [center]"I'm burning in the heavens, |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
I hear ya...it's always so hard when someone walks away and leaves you floundering in your feelings, forgotten. This poem expresses that well. Lizzie. "Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake |
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