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Teen Poetry #7

this blank morning.

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

0 posted 2004-11-24 03:43 PM

everything is blank.
maybe blank.

enough to see that i’m improving.
in the littlest ways, my eyes are
seeing the light from the dark.
i know people are telling me this
without saying anything.

but this me isn’t her.

because she wouldn’t dance in
music that has no words. has no
meaning to stab the heart with
hints of real truth.

and she knows better than to
step the life out of all things
wonderful, she knows better
than to accept the lies with
a smile she believes is her best.

nothing will be right. can’t they
see that, can’t you see that.

or do i have to uncover; unveil
the real blindness for you. until
the light covers up your words
that are so far from home.

so far, so far from our souls.

show me who you are, and
maybe this blank space that
surrounds my heart will open
up and let you wonder
around gracefully inside.

remember to breathe after you exhale.

[This message has been edited by electricxheart (11-24-2004 04:36 PM).]

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2004-11-24 04:12 PM

this had a nice flow..sort of calm like.
blankness. ehh...that sounds sort of..not good. maybe think of a different word to use. just cause if you read it outloud it doesn't sound good. but otherwise I always love your writing. and this is no exception.
-lex

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

2 posted 2004-11-24 09:20 PM

some people have great trouble showing others who they are, for they dont yet know themselves.

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