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Teen Poetry #7

Theres no more

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

0 posted 2003-10-28 10:53 PM

this one is long but thanx for reading

I look on days
so long ago
faced with days
considered a foe

I dwell
on what I lost
I want it back
no matter the cost

I don't like to drink
but I know there blues
and I pick up old pieces
like left behind clues

I'll take anything
that takes my mind
I just want nothingness
even if it puts me behind

I haven't been sleeping right
that's something I know
and if I’m sad
I’ll still won't let it show

I have been losing my mind
I try to slow myself till I die
to tell the truth I wouldn't mind
but just to get out of it I’ll lie

I should just accept
how I’m really to be
and I hate the people who think
there's more to me

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

1 posted 2003-10-29 08:52 AM

good write. i was especially fond of the last stanza.

Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

2 posted 2003-10-29 10:27 AM

Out of the whole piece, the second to the last stanza I thought was great. It had contradictment and it brought a simple ideal that we all follow. Now for the rest of the piece; it was good and had it's moments. I'm fond of that stanza though. Good job.

NJS

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2003-10-29 12:35 PM

Good poem, I especially like the 2nd stanza.
Thanks for sharing.

W.W.
We were meant to live for so much more have we lost ourselves?
Maybe redemption has stories to tell maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

4 posted 2003-10-29 03:08 PM

Good write, it didn't seem really long, I liked the 4th stanza the best

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

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