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Teen Poetry #7

i will always love you

Lindsay
Member

since 2003-03-26

Posts 59
South Dakota

0 posted 2004-11-21 10:33 PM

***edited off***
But then I thought of you and quickly become inspired to write
One minute I was feeling depressed and sad
The next I was so grateful for everything that I had
And I began to wonder how I could ever feel like this
Because with you in my life, there’s nothing but bliss
You’ve given me so much, I don’t know how I can repay you
All I can give you is love and this one promise too,
That I will always love you
And always be true

I don't know much at all, I don't know wrong from right, All I know is that I love you tonight
-Good Charlotte

[This message has been edited by Acies (12-11-2004 03:22 AM).]

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2004-11-24 04:24 PM

ok. so it gets to the point which is good I suppose. but the rhyme is just so...forced sounding. and cliche.
try to paint more of a picture for the reader.

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