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Teen Poetry #7

It's Not Fair

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2004-11-23 11:55 AM

With Those hands
Of ice cold sorrow,
You rip my heart out
And watch me slowly bleed.

I’m lying here,
Frozen to this spot,
Where you left me,
Seeping blood and tears.

These sobs wrack my body,
Because I can no longer
Stop them….
Nor do I have any will
Left to try…

WHY DOES LIFE
HAVE TO BE SO CRUEL???!!

These gut-wrenching cries
Are no longer heard –
You’ve gone away,
And I’m left alone…
Again….

And I’m absolutely
Positive that no good
Can come of it.

"Cuz I'm broken, when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away..."~ Seether

"I shut my eyes and hold my cries to myself"~ Taproot

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

1 posted 2004-11-23 06:34 PM

good short lines.

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

2 posted 2004-11-24 12:35 PM

'With Those hands
Of ice cold sorrow,
You rip my heart out
And watch me slowly bleed.'

i can feel every word of this.
and i know exactly what it feels
like. imagery is awesome, too.

i really liked it.

-kelly

i could be an accident, but i'm still trying.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

3 posted 2004-11-24 05:57 PM

quote:
WHY DOES LIFE
HAVE TO BE SO CRUEL???!!

True, live can be cruel sometimes, but hang in there...you'll have your share of both good AND bad times.

The poem was very emotional, good job Staci!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

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