How Needy Have I Become? Pt.2 (Lacuna In Os of Coluber)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #7

How Needy Have I Become? Pt.2 (Lacuna In Os of Coluber)

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-11-12 01:05 PM

here is pt 2 of my poem

How Needy Have I Become? Pt.2 (Lacuna In Os of Coluber)

…The slow drift of morning washes the sky…

“Good morning Empress, may your morning light shine forever.”
Sings the war-cousin’s worshiper.
He bows as if towed by the ropes of
a barge. Laborious grace pulses from
Her blinding smile. Be careful not to stare.

The act has occurred a thousand times over,
practiced to perfection, slowed to standstill.
Aulas attend the open party in the earliest light,
but I am chained to Her, an Oasis among expressionists.
She turns to me with crimson whispers on Her lips.

Coluber Hisco…

“ Soon you’ll be one of these fools.
Remember, love may have bought you, but
I own you”. Her voice is as steel sharpening,
Her tongue, the whetstone for Her teeth to slow against.
Slothful minds crave the sound of the imminent.

…Enter Failed Knight…

“My Lady, the dawn has uncovered our struggle.
We must strive for the unconquered.”
His rusted armor reflects Her distorted face,
burning Her true features onto my hands.
The scars roll as She approves. The smile never forgives…

…Lights lower as the Moon rises…

“Slow us Orator. Slow these events again.”
I command with authoritative glances.
“These memories flood my basin. I will vacate
soon if the torrent cannot be slowed.”
“Trust me, my child. These conditions force
a frown to combat your joy. You’ll
grow to love yourself again someday.”
His voice is a chorus of whispering children
all in time with the reply of the tide.

…Exit Consciousness…

“…Cachinnatio, Where is it coming from…”(my thoughts fade away again)

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

1 posted 2004-11-13 04:38 PM

great work, by all means. you do have a great talent for writing! your poems reflect that,
and great intelligence too.
the poems are too complex... i feel no expression in your work, no feeling.
it is a good read, but reading is for books, not poems, lol!

           ~Express Yourself~
                 :):):)
              ~DreamChild~

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

2 posted 2004-11-13 08:17 PM

ya know...after rereading, i think you would make an excellent playwriter.

~Express Yourself~

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

3 posted 2004-11-13 11:10 PM

thank you very much. i appreciate your honest comments.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.