control, fly away control.

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electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

0 posted 2004-11-09 04:41 PM

do you remember.

flush all your memories down the toilet.
i hope the sound makes you sick.

echo, echo in your ears.

did you know that a heart is really a toy
to wind up and watch it go insanely crazy.

crazy for you, i am.

do you remember.

i hope you still don’t have my picture, the
one where i smiled for you.

you thought it was real.
(shh, everything’s fake).

i threw yours out when i realized i couldn’t
manage to have my one hundred and fiftieth
broken heart.

control, fly away control.

do you remember.

we were oh so close, how could i let you in
like that. slithering throughout my insides,
i feel your body heat reflect off my skin.

you would think it would be pretty. but it’s
just covered in deceit.

transparent, just like your empty soul.

transparent, just like your incomplete smile.

transparent, just like our hide-away feelings.

i could be an accident, but i'm still trying.

[This message has been edited by electricxheart (11-09-2004 07:27 PM).]

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

1 posted 2004-11-09 06:46 PM

I'm sure your probably sick of hearing this already, but you have such a gift for writing poetry! Your poems are always amazing...this being no exception!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

2 posted 2004-11-09 10:08 PM

Amazing. Absolutely amazing. I look forward to reading a new post from you when I get piptalk up!

This one though, stood out to me pretty well. Every word just seemed to fit just right. Great work, another one for my library! ~Jess

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

3 posted 2004-11-13 08:43 PM

had a few thoughtful lines there...

~Express Yourself~

aussie teen
Member

since 2003-09-27

Posts 396
Australia

4 posted 2004-11-14 06:25 AM

this is beautiful electrix.... well written and so many powerful lines here...
love it...
keep you writing coming i am waiting for more....
Ruth

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

Sweetest Sorrow X
Member

since 2004-01-19

Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket

5 posted 2004-11-24 11:58 PM

Ahhh holy crap wlhfewlkjhfjw I LOVE LOVE this poem, i read the first line thought wow this is amaizng kept reading by the end i was in shock, i was so like happy i read it. It brought up feelings in me, this might be one of my favorite posts ever on piptalk. Such an amazing poem, poems like these make me jealous of the authors for being so creative..Flush the memories down the tiolet..sound make syou sick. Brilliance. You are truely talented, i love ALL of your poems!!!!

She would rather be dead than fat,
Dead and perfect, like Nefertiti

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

6 posted 2004-11-25 03:15 PM

Great writing, keep up the good work

Andrew

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

7 posted 2004-11-26 07:35 PM

I didn't like this as much as some of your other poems. but still...I liked these lines: flush all your memories down the toilet.i hope the sound makes you sick.

There's no reason I'm oversleeping
dreamin' my life away...

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