her silence...please read and give feedback

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Teen Poetry #7

her silence...please read and give feedback

LOSTinTHISworld
Member

since 2003-06-01

Posts 94
canada

0 posted 2004-10-17 12:46 PM

you sit there and watch
you watch them talk
but you dont say a word
because you cant
you dont fit in
but you understand
so you continue to listen
enjoying every word
that comes out of their mouths
you long for eye contact
for them to look at you
as you look at them
maybe even a smile
if only they knew
and thats when you lose it
you call her name
and she looks at you
in a way
shes never looked
at you before
because she knows
know they all know.

~suicide is not so much the wish to die as it is the fear of living~

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

1 posted 2004-10-17 01:22 AM

Becky, This is the first post that I have read of you, and I'm really glad that you've posted because I loved reading your poem so much.

"you sit there and watch
you watch them talk
but you dont say a word
because you cant
you dont fit in
but you understand
so you continue to listen
enjoying every word
that comes out of their mouths
you long for eye contact
for them to look at you
as you look at them
maybe even a smile"

I could really relate to this part.
Amazing poem...thank you for giving me the oppertunity to read it.

It's going in my library.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

LOSTinTHISworld
Member

since 2003-06-01

Posts 94
canada

2 posted 2004-10-17 01:25 AM

thanx alot alli, it means alot to hear comments like that.

~suicide is not so much the wish to die as it is the fear of living~

LOSTinTHISworld
Member

since 2003-06-01

Posts 94
canada

3 posted 2004-10-17 01:33 AM

it actually has a different ending which would explain better but its not appropriate for the site

aussie teen
Member

since 2003-09-27

Posts 396
Australia

4 posted 2004-10-17 08:25 AM

i know this feeling also..... i would love to read the origional if you want to email it to me at
[email protected]
any others you want opinions on i would love to read...
keep these comin
Ruth

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

5 posted 2004-10-17 09:09 AM

i really like this also.
i can relate so well to
what you're saying.

keep on writing.

--kelly

i could be an accident, but i'm still trying.

Cinderelly
Member

since 2001-12-31

Posts 189
NM, USA

6 posted 2004-10-22 07:50 PM

I don't know what it is about this poem but I really like it . . . Keep posting!

* For all the words of tongue and pen, the saddest are those, "It might have been." *

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