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Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member

since 2002-11-10

Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A

0 posted 2004-10-13 08:26 PM

Tonight I lay looking for answers from above
Should I really give up on looking for love?
The tears begin to fall down my cheeks
There is a special girl out there that my heart seeks.

I don’t know what to do sometimes
As my heart pours out all these sad rhymes.
Is love really worth all this pain
There is no sun in my skies all I see is rain.

She was never able to give me a glimmer of hope
So my heart was hung out on a rope.
My love was for her and only her.
And for once in my life I felt like a complete failure

I have always been able to move on in my life
But what makes it difficult is it her I want for a wife.
Should I just give up now knowing she will never feel the same
Or let my heart continue to feel like its burning in hells flame

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

1 posted 2004-10-13 10:50 PM

Don't worry, one day she'll open up her eyes and see how great you are. Until then - you gots me!

(you know what i mean chris...hehe) *rolls eyes*.
This is definatly going in my library.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

2 posted 2004-10-13 10:52 PM

Amazing write...

I am sorry for your pain, and i know how you feel. Love hurts....but it also heals...its sort of like a checks and balance system...in a weird way...

This was great, but in some parts the rhyming sounded really forced...you should try and do a freestyle...

I'l be looking.

Karissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member

since 2002-11-10

Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A

3 posted 2004-10-14 10:52 AM

Yeah Kissa,
Thanks for the input because your right the forced rhyming really hurt the flow of it but truth was i was hurt and just needed to get it down!! Thanks again!!

I_dont_know_me
Junior Member

since 2003-12-08

Posts 48
UK, Cymru

4 posted 2004-10-14 01:14 PM

great poem!

aussie teen
Member

since 2003-09-27

Posts 396
Australia

5 posted 2004-10-15 07:27 AM

this is beautiful.... i know love hurts but its all about balance.... everything in life is.... when she does realise that you have been standing right in front of her she will be amazed....
keep the writing coming
Ruth

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

6 posted 2004-10-17 05:03 PM

its ok sweet heart!me and alli love you!!!

red_angel*16
Member

since 2004-09-04

Posts 71

7 posted 2004-10-19 06:13 AM

sweetpoet dont give up
some day you'll find that special girl
until then just keep on looking
for her.

sweetie_cute_2004
New Member

since 2004-04-11

Posts 5

8 posted 2004-10-19 09:20 AM

hey
welll umm, i dont think you know me but i do ,lol.i heard about you from one of my friends anyways, this poem was great ,i really enjoyed it ,,dont worry you will find that girl . Just remember ,No matter what happends you will always have us {ALL} .... I PROMISE U THAT!! you have a long way to go so dont worry about anything but yourself !.

earthdust
Member

since 2003-10-28

Posts 53
predestined and foreknown

9 posted 2004-11-12 12:12 PM

if you really love her, u always will...
and vice versa. dont give up, time has a way of healing wounds.

" Understanding is more valuable than diamonds. If you can understand me, Then you are a very rich person. "

TY!

Shaddow1
Junior Member

since 2006-09-04

Posts 41
Kingman Az, USA

10 posted 2006-09-08 01:19 AM

You know I ask my self that very same question abot my ex. He says he love me yet we are not one. I feel Ishould give up. But I don't and niether should u

Love is like a Rose; it always dies - Britney Miller

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

11 posted 2006-09-11 04:58 PM

I personally think you need to suck it up...come on...

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

12 posted 2006-09-14 02:52 PM

Man If you liked me I would definitly be with you. If this girl doesn't care what you feel then maybe you shouldn't be with her at all. But you did an awsome poem here. You should shove it in her face. Just joking. Be nice to her. Great right though. Hope to see more from you lata.
Courtney

secret_truth_lies
Member

since 2006-11-14

Posts 74

13 posted 2006-11-23 11:05 AM

I don’t know what to do sometimes
As my heart pours out all these sad rhymes.
Is love really worth all this pain
There is no sun in my skies all I see is rain.

I really like this poem. I really liked this part too. I hope to see more from you very soon.

infralie
New Member

since 2007-04-24

Posts 5
Oklahoma, USA

14 posted 2007-04-24 02:57 PM

hey babe wow what is the story on this poem even tho it states it clearly tell me more well adios for now

jessi
New Member

since 2008-04-22

Posts 2

15 posted 2008-04-22 08:40 PM

this is the 2nd poem of yours ive read. i really like it. cuz i guess i sorta feel the same way....only im a girl, so just reversed. but still...

Bob K
Member Elite

since 2007-11-03

Posts 4208

16 posted 2008-04-23 05:32 AM

Dear Sweetpoet16m4u04,

Your heart is right there in the open. I'm an old married guy and happy with it and I think your poetry's right on track, looking for a voice and a way of speaking. You might consider that while you want to marry and settle down, a lot of the girls your age are more interested in looking around and seeing what the world's about. They may be looking for company while they're scouting things out and seeing what's what, but the idea of getting married or settling down as a teen might be a little bit to fast for them.

Why not see what happens if you just look for women who you like to spend time with and like to do the same sort of things you do. Spend time with them, both of you enjoy what happens and see what develops in a much slower fashion, so nobody gets panicked. It takes a while before people really get to know each other. Not always, but a lot of the time. Try that out and see what happens as an experiment. If it doesn't work, trash it and try something else.

Bahigano
Junior Member

since 2008-05-13

Posts 31
Nebraska

17 posted 2008-05-14 11:56 AM

Hey don't sweat it. i'm sure she'll come around. i mean i would love for a guy to love me but i just gotta sit and wait for him to come. Love takes time. hopefully you find her.
always
Lea

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