I still miss... ( A RP from Open #30)

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Teen Poetry #7

I still miss... ( A RP from Open #30)

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2004-07-30 06:46 PM

There's no way to redeem myself,
no way to convince you of my worth,
if I felt I had any at all.

The leaves
are leaving
me..
They've skipped the Autumn
color change,
and forgotten
that I
loved to watch the orange
cry among the floor of dirt.

I beg
I plead
I fall on my knees and ask
what was it
in life that I'd done wrong?

What
could it have been,
what sin
did I commit to lose
all that I love and still
keep..
With fear..
I can't hold down
the feeling like
my spine is turning to liquid

..there's nothing I could say
to change what you feel is the inevitable,
no tears could change
the fact
that
I am simply
not good enough.

My love could not hold you like I'd once thought
it did..

And here I lie,
heartbroken in enraged silence..

The leaves
are leaving
me..

And I miss you still.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

1 posted 2004-07-30 11:53 PM

beautifeul write....

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

Cinderelly
Member

since 2001-12-31

Posts 189
NM, USA

2 posted 2004-07-31 02:35 AM

I really sympathize with this. Great write . . .

* For all the words of tongue and pen, the saddest are those, "It might have been." *

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2004-07-31 10:48 PM

Wow. This really hit home, so hard.
It was so descriptive and the emotion you put into it flowed right back out at me.
I especially loved from the 5th stanza down.
Im at a loss for words.
Thanks for sharing, this is going in my library, so I can read it over and over.

WinterWren-
Counting stars wishing I was ok,
Crashing down was my biggest mistake.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

4 posted 2004-12-26 03:35 PM

Wow...I can relate to this so much it isnt even funny.
Thank you so much for sharing this in Teen Megan...I know you dont usually post here.

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

5 posted 2004-12-28 04:46 PM

They've skipped the Autumn
color change,
and forgotten
that I
loved to watch the orange
cry among the floor of dirt.

I love these lines...so elegantly put.
And the last couple lines
very...beautifully tragic and I feel the same way.

There's no reason I'm oversleeping
dreamin' my life away...I'm not sure if I'm still breathing so I'll put on a happy face

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