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Teen Poetry #7
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The Other Rose
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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The Other Rose |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
This is really more narrative than poetic, but I'm posting it here anyway. Please tell me what you think, I really want to improve on this. The Other Rose “Sit down my love, I have something to say,” He says as he hands her two roses, which she takes with a smile. “She’s so beautiful,” he thought. “So beautiful.” He takes a deep breath and tried to stay in control As he tells her that the love they shared can no longer be, For reasons that are above them both. “But why?” she asks, tears glistening in her eyes. He has no answer worthy of her. “I thought you loved me. You said you loved me.” “I do, darling, I do.” Oh, how he wished he could make her understand. “You said you loved me!” She is angry now, the tears rolling down her cheeks. He remained silent, there was nothing left to say. She jumps up, and with emotion choking her voice, “How can you do this?” She throws one of the roses at him and runs off, her body racked with sobs. He wants to go to her, to hold her, and tell her it would all be okay, But he stays where he is, knowing it is better to just leave her alone for a while. He sits there for what seems like hours, until finally he couldn’t take any more. He rises from his chair and walks to the back of the house, Stopping outside her bedroom door. He listens, but silence fills his ears. It was deafening to him. Had she cried herself to sleep? He cracked open the door and peered inside. He saw her lying on the floor with her face turned away. Why would she be there? Alarmed, he pushed open the door and walked inside. His eyes widened, his hand rose to his mouth in a silent scream. There, on the floor, he saw the girl, still holding the rose, But now it was covered in the blood of his one true love. He was unbelieving, seeing only the little girl who had been his best friend as a child. The girl who had stayed true to him all through school. The girl who he had grown to “like” and eventually, grown to love. Now he saw the girl, the love of his life, silent and motionless on the floor. Her ultimate fear, her ultimate pain was now her end. He fell to his knees beside her, and cried. Everything gets better in the end, and if it's not better, it's not the end. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Jennifer Rick - All Rights Reserved | |||
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
Good work, very good work! I could kind of tell what the ending was going to be but I still had suspense all the way to the end. I really like this piece, it's going in my library! ~Jess  "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix |
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sweet_cute_palestinian04 Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418Earth |
omg this poem is reallly sad,,well story i dont know what it is but still i loved it,,,i wish i knew what happend to her in the end ,,i really wanna know,lolol,,,well take care and good post love and respect Fate is what controls the world so just let it go and I PROMISE YOU WILL MAKE IT!!! |
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Pollita Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220the unknown realm of insanity |
I liked this poem, I made me think of how heart-breaking that sort of thing can be. It made me very much think of my life, and what I feel..Good job! This was truely magnificiant, Its going into my library! *~Delaney~* * Is adult entertainment killing our children or is killing our children entertaining adults? * -Brian Warner |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
Thank you the replies, and for taking the time to read it. Jen Everything gets better in the end, and if it's not better, it's not the end. |
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Snickers123 Member
since 2004-05-07
Posts 94United States-Iowa |
wow- that was really really sad! Great Job though, I loved it. |
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