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-=Kiff=-
Junior Member

since 2003-10-21

Posts 16
North wales UK

0 posted 2003-10-23 06:14 AM

Hi this is the first time I have shared one of my poems with any one, mind you I only started writing a couple of months ago so I'm sorry if it's a bit rough on the edges.

Now I stand alone, weapon slung
The wind blows through my fingers as I feel the sodden cloths I bear
I am not part of this war.
My eyes dance through the stars like a bee searching for its flower, but I too search, search for the eyes I fell upon so long ago, for such equal beauty can only be found in the skies above.
In my bed I find no rest the stars no more your eyes no more, my hands cover my face I read my lines and ache, where are you now my love.

Barbara
Junior Member

since 2003-01-24

Posts 32

1 posted 2003-10-23 07:48 AM

its a nice poem!

WELCOME!

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

2 posted 2003-10-23 09:56 AM

hmmmm....good write.

magic_612
Member

since 2003-07-31

Posts 190
NB, Canada

3 posted 2003-10-23 10:05 AM

very good one for your first post! welcome, and hope to hear more from you

-=Kiff=-
Junior Member

since 2003-10-21

Posts 16
North wales UK

4 posted 2003-10-23 10:14 AM

Thanx guys, can't wait to read some of your own poems.

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

5 posted 2003-10-23 11:40 AM

Welcome to Pip!!! I hope you enjoy it.

Your poem was absolutely beautiful. You said you only started writing a few months ago? Well, you write very beautifully. I can tell that you have a lot of passion for writing...because I felt the entire poem the whole way through. This will definitely be going into my library. Keep writing and keep posting! Nice work! I hope to be reading some of your work soon!

*I figured out that trust was just my one mistake...*

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2003-10-23 03:20 PM

Welcome To Passions In Poetry, Kiff. I really
enjoyed reading your first post. I look forward
to reading more of your poems. I could tell that
you felt what you were writing. Thanks for sharing it
with us. Please check your e-mail for a special
greeting from all of us here at PIP.
Hugs

Ethel/garysgirl
Moderator/ Passions In poetry

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

7 posted 2003-10-23 03:57 PM

grate first post the feeling was held thought this piece,
and it was vary descriptive hope to see more.
keep righting

for a critique; try playing with the structure
other than that grate poem going into my library

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

8 posted 2003-10-23 04:49 PM

Welcome to Passions~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
[email protected]

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

9 posted 2003-10-24 11:49 PM

So much for being new at this, if you wouldn't have said so, I wouldn't have known. I really liked the begining, this poem tells a beautiful story. Your so delicate with your words. Keep it up and further amaze.
Welcome...
~Lex

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