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Teen Poetry #7
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Final Farewell (written with Dertah)
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Final Farewell (written with Dertah) |
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Silent Evincar Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179Here There and Places Between |
Okay this is a little lengthy but it was a perception of things Dertah and I were going through at the time. This was done around a year ago, so it may not be up to par with what we produce now, but enjoy. Goodbye, Goodbye to you, the feeling thats withered me so, to eyes that stared through as though I were nothing With those eyes you warmed my heart but scorched my soul a soul that held you up on the most beautiful of wings the same wings that once held you in rays of Love, least are now lost. Love thought to remain forevermore... With a delusion of forevermore, a feeling faded Love so numb And those, those were my tears. Blind, Blind to a flickering light of Love, that became death a I so easily ignored in the decayment of my little world an ideal place of prosperous bloom, with poisons of plant, the face of my killer etched in its roots a world where Love never denied me its flourishing light. That which was my symbol of hope as my feeling yearned for you. then and there I scarred, seared by that light the light you turned to pleasure with a ravenous kiss from your lips a kiss of venom an illusion of what can never be: the light, the feeling or the prick of hope in my heart. Remember, Remember my tears when I died inside, before I knew you. cold, shivering, shaking, engulfed in my own arms in your presence shaking, shivering, cold. With that cold heart you possesed; you changed my perception Inside your beauty I saw the exterior of a demon... all along I knew the demon, it was clear, I foregot but I remember; I was always bling... goodbye |
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| © Copyright 2003 Nicholas Stauffer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Silent Evincar Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179Here There and Places Between |
Sorry about the spellings and left out words. 2nd stanza third line "a fate I so easily...." & Last line of 3rd stanza "... I was always blind... goodbye." |
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~*DrAgOnFLY*~ Junior Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 29Haven of Abyss |
wow...i especially loved the line, "warmed my heart but scorched my soul" vivid pitures are always good. (and about leaving stuff out, you can still edit your stuff just go up to the toolbar) keep it up! "You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same" |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
Ahhh! This poem was just the right length for everything you wanted to say! I agree with your last reply. This poem was beautiful! Great work! Keep it up! ~Jess  "Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse |
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Ally Stone Junior Member
since 2003-10-20
Posts 48D.C. |
Wow, I loved the progression, I can really relate to this one. Keep it up!! |
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Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
grate poem i liked how the poem moved. will look for more keep wrighing when you live you begin to die |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
ha ha, i think ive done it.....ive replied to every poem in this category. i loved this poem....hmmm |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
I really loved this. I don't even know what to say, except that it was totally heartfelt and the length was fine. It's not too long at all. Thanks for the read. I's going in my library. Jen "Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
this was a great work, i enjoyed it greatly. it kinda hit home nicely.  |
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