Teen Poetry #7 |
Backwards Chicken scratch |
Don_Juan Member
since 2004-04-08
Posts 252Far from where I am going |
Bacwards chicken scratch Watching life, love, and happiness through a t.v. screen 'cause I'm afraid to return to the outdoors flicking through channels aimlessly without focus yeah theres a.d.d involved attention span of 10 seconds unfocused and afraid of beolding something i love and having my mind prohibit all plasure because i'll never love again so i'm a couch potato unmotivated, unwilling, sloth like doesn't bother me at all backwards chicken scratch inscribings on stale perfumed paper stapled to the kitchen table dyslexic and can hardly stand it attempted to wirte you a letter but blew all chance of that i tried to feel sorry for myself but i couldnt focus on that for too long 'cause i was missing the world pass me by looks like nice guys do finish last everyone in the world has lapped me they say live and learn i'd rather just live and leave the learning to those i watch better to love and lost rather than never loved right? you love you lose nothing more Eh, yeah i do want you back but i'll never love you again yeah this was on my spare time. hope you like it. |
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© Copyright 2004 John Lervezuk - All Rights Reserved | |||
sweet_cute_palestinian04 Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418Earth |
wow.. actually i liked but not loved it it sorry its just my opinion ,,it was intersting but the end went alittle down ..welll take care and sorry if i disresspected you.....:-] |
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Don_Juan Member
since 2004-04-08
Posts 252Far from where I am going |
no it's cool. i knew the poem wasn't very good at all. it really needs some revisions. but hey thank you for reading and critiquing |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
i dunno, i liked the end, and the rest of the poem...i liked the part where you said you tried to feel sorry for yourself...etc. nice job bergundy "Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man) |
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