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Dark Poetry #4
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The Pain that you hide -3
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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The Pain that you hide -3 |
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Destinys_Fallen_Angel Member
since 2004-05-06
Posts 75Boise Idaho 
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I look into your eyes and I see the pain you try to hide I hold you in my arms and I remember the tears you cried I think of the times you and I have talked about life And how it’s hurt you and cut you so deep You’re gone now, you walked away You gave up, you quit trying to live You meant the world to me But it took me to long to tell you what I felt I can’t reach your heart anymore Because of me, you closed that door I wanted to help you thought the hard times But I was unable to reach you Written by Destiny Copyright 2002 Yahoo messenger: destinys_Falen_Angel |
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| © Copyright 2004 Destiny Calhort - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
I like this one but it almost seems as though it ended too abruptly. Aside from a few typo-like errors, I think this would be great with a little expansion. |
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Destinys_Fallen_Angel Member
since 2004-05-06
Posts 75Boise Idaho |
i agree that it ended to soon but i ran out of ideas...any would be welcome Yahoo messenger: destinys_Falen_Angel |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is great but i agree that it ended too soon and could be longer.... other than that this is excelent. keep up the writing Mel so this is me but what do you care about that???? |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
you could say say something about why it was unable to reach this person, why they closed the door. |
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