Dark Poetry #4 |
I Hate You |
River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
pouring worry grief soul damaged beyond repair you dirty crook you used me and I let you. returned once again to this hell called: despair I hate you I hate myself I want to die and yet even you are not worth it why did you do this to me why did you let naive get the best of me now I am left with nothing no life no God no desire to live or die no desire to see God ever again then again it could be my own doing I am so stupid why did I let you I knew it was coming don't let me see you again I hate you walk away I hate you as I run away. Running out of pain |
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© Copyright 2004 Bonnie Sue Bixler - All Rights Reserved | |||
kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
I liked it. The flow... a little edgy, but thats okay. Overall it was a great poem. Till next time... I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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wings of the moon Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323Pink bubblegum land |
My main crit about this poem, is that you "tell" us too much, rather than "show" us. The power, and emotions were there though, keep writting... |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
yup. hate has a way of affecting my writing. distorts my thinking. |
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Destinys_Fallen_Angel Member
since 2004-05-06
Posts 75Boise Idaho |
good write, althought its filled with pain and tells of an aching heart...its well written...good job Yahoo messenger: destinys_Falen_Angel |
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