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kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

0 posted 2004-04-14 11:06 PM

This life i have, wouldnt be missed,
if i left and never came back.
I sit alone, in a crowded room,
no one there but me.
Or maybe it's the other way around,
maybe i should just face reality.
I am alone, but not you see.
No one cares, and no one loves,
they all just pity me.
I am a lost soul,
that will never be found,
that is my fate, my destiny.
I fly in my cage,
with the other ones,
the other ones like me.
They arent my friends,
they torture me.
Please... HELP ME get out of here.
but of course you cant.
You left me long ago,
but you will be back soon,
stuck in this hell with me.
So ignore me now,
dont help me,
just watch my misery.
One day you will be asking
for me to set you free,
to help you out of this hell,
then finally you will see.

~kissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

1 posted 2004-04-14 11:10 PM

Hey! Nice Ending

Very very good, I liked and saved. No improvements, I think you nailed the feelings and meaning perfectly.

Very very cool,
Hollow.

Hollow who understands

"Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

2 posted 2004-04-14 11:13 PM

Thnks chick, i appreciate the comments you made.
I'm sorry, and glad at the same time that you understand...

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

3 posted 2004-04-15 02:42 AM

great
i really liked it

awesome ending yes i agree

realy dark and emotional

u always hit the nail ont he dot

LOR

The pain of losing you, is still wanting you near.

But your still gone...and I'm still here

aujussy wolf

Senior Member

since 2003-08-09

Posts 1215
Michigan

4 posted 2004-04-25 12:55 PM

Or maybe it's the other way around,
maybe i should just face reality.

ok

i like it when your honest to yourself ,
there will come a time when you will see it is you who is making yourself sad.....
its your choice , its your mind
you just have to look at yourself long and hard .
and give yourself the truth
an then you wont be fooling anyone
once you notice that everyone has problems , just some don't ever talk about them , and let them build into a wall ...lets break down this wall of stone you have traped yourself into , and see what beautiful places await your arrival , beaches to walk , things to eat ( chocolate

) and new friends to make , listen to me here
twenty years from now you will look back and laugh at how simple you really had it , dont be afraid to reach for the stars , you might just catch one someday , be strong

-wolf

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

5 posted 2004-04-28 10:49 PM

I liked it, the emotion came full circle and the ending couldn't have been better...I’d miss reading your poems...good write...keep writing.

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

River
Senior Member

since 2003-09-16

Posts 627
my own little world

6 posted 2004-04-30 01:02 AM

I think we are all stuck in this hell together, in one way or another. nice write.

- River

Running out of pain

lil cherry
Member

since 2002-10-02

Posts 86
Ont, Can.

7 posted 2004-05-06 11:36 PM

very nice. i can certainly relate. as u noticed when u read "forbidden love" i do have coloured hair(not always blue, and i have more of it now), and going to a high school full of hicks, i encountered a lot of harassement, made me feel really alone. this poem kinda sums up those feelings perfectly. a great read. good job.
~~*Angel*~~

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

8 posted 2004-05-06 11:49 PM

I know what you mean, by the school full of hicks, and the harassment and stuff. I used to get that a lot. I was also sort of a hick though too, cuz i had an accent. I loved the blue hair though. SOrt of unique, ya know? Thats how i am , or atleast i like to think i am.. unique. You are a talented writer, i could totally relate to your poem also.. I am glad you decided to join us here in pip. ~lol~ I hope to be seeing more of your poetry. Your very good.

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

Destinys_Fallen_Angel
Member

since 2004-05-06

Posts 75
Boise Idaho

9 posted 2004-05-07 07:23 PM

good poem its very well written

Yahoo messenger: destinys_Falen_Angel
MSN Messenger: Destinys_Fallen_Angel
AOL/AIM: Eternityshyann

sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member

since 2004-04-11

Posts 418
Earth

10 posted 2004-05-08 04:15 PM

wow this poem really showed me something..im soo inlove with it..lolol..i can really see your emtions well donee..kep it upppp

loveezzz

peaceee

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