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Dark Poetry #4

107

JenniferMaxwell

Member Elite

since 2006-09-14

Posts 2423

0 posted 2008-12-15 04:00 AM

Always ready with tar and feathers
a lynch mob and a rope
a bucket of hate
to splash on the opposition
and not a drop of truth.

Paint the gallows
with smears and slander
and oil the trapdoor hinges
with slime from the mouths
of bigots and sore losers.

Fill up the sand bag with
lies and half truths. Add
stones of assumptions
and the counter weights
of straw man arguments.

Bellow like a bull and roar
like the cowardly lion
so no one will ever recognize
the sound of your tin drum beating
a shallow and ignorant tune.

Vestibular Bard
Member

since 2008-12-11

Posts 284
New York

1 posted 2008-12-15 12:03 PM

Jennifer,

The overall theme is quite visceral, and I enjoyed many of the metaphors, although I could not find a meter or cadence that made me confortable with it.

I would explore this further, tighten it up, and focus on form... it has great potential.

moonbeam

Member Elite

since 2005-12-24

Posts 2356

2 posted 2008-12-15 12:43 PM

Yes great potential Jennifer.

prize
Member

since 2008-11-21

Posts 116

3 posted 2008-12-15 08:47 PM

Jennifer, this is a great piece - I love your metaphors as well and the imagery they create - wonderful.

P

jared34ricky
Junior Member

since 2008-12-30

Posts 12
South Carolina, USA

4 posted 2009-01-07 12:43 PM

Add stones of assumptions and the counter weights of straw man arguments.

great line

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