the way we were - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Dark Poetry #4

the way we were

NormalitxButterfly
Member

since 2008-07-09

Posts 107

0 posted 2008-08-20 02:04 AM

"The way we were"

can we go back to the way we were?

Ignorantly blissful

not yet learned in the way of the world

watching the world bright eyed and giddy

naive and fearless

never noticing the eyes that watched from the window

as you played in the yard

counting your every breath

can we go back to the way we were?

can the wold come unchanged?

can we laugh like we use to?

not a care in the world

Innocent with undying faith

in the dreams of a little girl

not yet mamed by the world

can we go back to before we knew it wouldn't be ok

can we go back to the way we were

untouched, unscared

can we become that child

that smiled without reason

skipping and laughing

never knowing to be afraid of her shadow

unbroken and able to feel

what do you say to this child

when she tells you loves not real

and no matter how much time passes

we can't go back to the way we were

midnightdreamer
Member

since 2008-02-03

Posts 309
Roy,ut

1 posted 2008-08-25 08:31 PM

great words. i like this poem.
midnightdreamer

"It was heaven........right in the center of hell" Bella from New Moon

NormalitxButterfly
Member

since 2008-07-09

Posts 107

2 posted 2008-08-25 11:57 PM

thank you

I leave to walk ahead, only to be lost
Even though I cannot see the end, I think it's alright
I will leave on a journey at range, it's alright if i

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

3 posted 2008-08-26 11:04 PM

This was a decent poem. I am wondering still why you are double-spacing everything. That makes your poems much harder to read.

Again, careful with the spelling. For example, you left out the r in "world." Also you line lengths vary a lot. I don't know if this was intentional but it sometimes makes the poem look like it rambles.

Life's short. Think hard!
Me!

Revon
Junior Member

since 2008-08-29

Posts 15

4 posted 2008-08-29 09:47 PM

I didnt like the spacings either, enjoyed it though. It makes me think how once innocence is lost everything becomes a little more jaded.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.