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Dark Poetry #4

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Tyler's Lost Angel
New Member

since 2008-05-21

Posts 5

0 posted 2008-07-23 07:15 PM

razors pain you
rivers are damp
acids stain you
and drugs cause cramps
guns aren't lawful
nooses give
gas smells awful
you might as well live

Mystress May
Member

since 2007-10-25

Posts 296
Taunton, MA

1 posted 2008-07-23 08:59 PM

I know that it wasn't the intention of your poem... but I laughed... and literally out loud (my neighbors already think I'm crazy). The situation isn't funny.... the idea isn't funny... but the process behind it and the irony... it definitely had a dark humour to it. Perhaps I'm a sick person... forgive me if I offend you. I'm outspoken and have difficulty holding my tongue.

The way that you strung the words together... I enjoyed it... but it wasn't until the end that it struck me (again... are we seeing a trend at all?) Perhaps it's because I've felt it myself, so I see the irony?

At any rate... the trend that I mentioned... that is not a bad thing. It means that you take your words and tie them up in a different package than I expected.... but a much better package. I really enjoy it.

Our scars are the foundation for what we have become

midnightdreamer
Member

since 2008-02-03

Posts 309
Roy,ut

2 posted 2008-07-23 10:15 PM

great poem again.
midnightdreamer

"It was heaven........right in the center of hell" Bella from New Moon

BeyaK
Member

since 2008-08-07

Posts 126
Philippines

3 posted 2008-08-08 05:30 AM

nice one...though short, but i like reading it.

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