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again.on.death.row
New Member

since 2008-05-08

Posts 9
Canada

0 posted 2008-05-08 09:26 PM

Spiraling down this endless cyclone.
The overwhelming emotion I have for you
makes it almost impossible
to say how I feel.

A chill sweeps over me
as I remember the truth,
resurfacing back to haunt me.
Reminding me of what I cannot forgive.

They say your problems are not my own,
but I take credit for my creations,
however bloody and destructive they are.
I didn’t mean to pass this on.

Why didn’t you just shut the door?
How come you couldn’t have left me draining?
Instead you submitted yourself to such illness.
With this mentality you didn’t stand a chance.

It’s far too late for me take this back.
These wounds, these daggers,
this walking corps.
And so my guilt goes on.

They say your problems are not my own,
but I take credit for my creations,
however bloody and destructive they are.
I didn’t mean to pass this on.

I’m like vice grips against your neck.
The more I tighten, the harder it is for you to breathe.
And still I feed off your life,
So that I can continue mine.

They say your problems are not my own,
but I take credit for my creations,
however bloody and destructive they are.
I didn’t mean to pass this on.

I didn’t mean to pass this on.

[This message has been edited by again.on.death.row (05-10-2008 12:00 AM).]

Inspired-8
Member

since 2008-04-14

Posts 311
Pluto

1 posted 2008-05-09 05:15 AM

Wow powerful write!

eternally_singing
Member

since 2007-12-18

Posts 123
PA, United States

2 posted 2008-05-09 06:09 PM

Spectacular. I loved the repetition of

" They say your problems are not my own,
but I take credit for my creations,
however bloody and destructive they are.
I didn’t mean to pass this on."

Welcome to PIP! Hope to see more.

At night a candle's brighter than the sun

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

3 posted 2008-05-09 11:14 PM

This is a lovely poem, welcome to PIP and I hope to see more soon!

{~~*~~}

{&]ebbing.away.from*my.pain.}}
{~Emily~}

Again
Junior Member

since 2008-05-13

Posts 47

4 posted 2008-05-13 07:36 PM

This is really good in my opinion. I can sense your honestly, which is what makes it so good in the first place. I think you are experiencing love, thats why it feels like that...the part about the person being there and not leaving dispite what you accidently do...at least in your poem its true.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

5 posted 2008-05-14 07:36 AM

Nice poem.. I like the emotions in this.. Welcome to PIP

~Zach~

"Fate leads the willing, and drags along the reluctant."

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