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Dark Poetry #4
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| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Mystress May Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296Taunton, MA 
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Can't get you out of my head out of my dreams you linger in the room long after you've left I inhale you I force it in its icy fingers grab hold until I choke I tear at my eyes I don't want to see you rip off my flesh although I want to feel you cut out my tongue I can't bear to taste you I want to hate you I want to take you I want to hurt you I want to scathe you I want your tears upon my tongue I want your fears coursing through my soul I want to hear your cries of pain I want you to know they are uttered in vain Our scars are the foundation for what we have become |
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| © Copyright 2007 Amanda M. Stonis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
AAAaaaaaahhhhh!!! To feel the hate so mixed with love and utter distaste for yourself for doing just that. Been there. MM as always a pure pleasure to read your work. |
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Mystress May Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296Taunton, MA |
Thanks doll! So how about something new from you?!?! hehe so maybe I'm just a little bit pushy  |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
You pushy? Nah. I'm working on one right now that's damn near depressing me. It came to me in a mantra the other morning, I kept repeating words and realized that everything I was repeating was an actual event somewhere in the world at that very moment. Once I'm done I shall throw it out to you guys to see what you think. |
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fromme2U Member
since 2007-11-09
Posts 257 |
Nice write. I wrote one that includes you. hope you like it. |
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Mystress May Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296Taunton, MA |
fromme2u which one? |
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hardcorexflirt Junior Member
since 2007-12-22
Posts 12WI, USA |
wow this is so deep......i love it keep up the fantastic work....i want to read more just like it from you. |
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Fareed Member
since 2008-02-08
Posts 75 |
Wow it reads so dedicated, Kudos. |
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SilhouetteMarquis Junior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 32 |
But cries of pain may be ignored And words of hate can be assured their grave within this shallow soul For only death to be restored. I really like the way some of the words fit together, but for some reason, it feels...off. Like, there's an unclear emotion hidden in these words. I dunno, maybe it's just me Great piece though, effective word usage. -Silhouette Marquis |
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Mystress May Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296Taunton, MA |
Silhouette Marquis You are very perceptive... the 'unclear emotion' is definately there. I am one that tends to hide my deeper emotions... to mask them with other emotions. Perhaps the change in flow causes a feeling of incompletion, as well. I guess it would be better as a song... opinions? I adore input so give me whatever you have! ~~~May~~~ |
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KgIRL Junior Member
since 2007-11-14
Posts 14australia |
i love this piece! It got me worked up and i felt love, hate, confusion, and pain as i read and related to this. i love your poems! |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Wow this poem is so mixxed up with emotions. i love it!!! two thumbs up!! keep up the great work!signature--> ~Zach~ "From the ashes, flowers will bloom The empty void, fills the room" |
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Mystress May Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296Taunton, MA |
KgIRL and Zach.... thank you for your kind words! ~~~May~~~ |
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r v wooo Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656 |
do i detect hidden desires of of s and m or am i off track...have your ever questioned self? curious... |
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Mystress May Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296Taunton, MA |
r v wooo.... I've been in the lifestyle for 16 years or so. It's a very big part of my daily life. |
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r v wooo Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656 |
interesting... |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
Interesting is Mystress May. |
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megaskull Junior Member
since 2008-02-04
Posts 11 |
Have you thought of a name for this? If I may make a suggestion maybe "Tepid Inclination" ? Nice poem I enjoyed reading this one. Deeply felt!  |
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Mystress May Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296Taunton, MA |
megaskull... no I haven't thought of a title for this piece yet. I've been tossing a few ideas around but nothing fits 'just right'. your suggestion is intriguing but it just doesn't 'click'. some pieces are so simple to name, others seem to elude me like this one. eh.... we shall see, doll. |
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r v wooo Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656 |
a scent of "smoke" gives me the feel a fire is raging even before you extinguish your poetic cigarette against my lips!... burn me!... burn me... all the way to hell and back! for i know the liquid in the bottle is not water...yet, i must drink to quinch the thirst that still lingers there. you she-devil...you temptress...i hate you...no, no, no...ooooh...yessss!...aaaah...you are soooo vain and i am exhausted. |
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r v wooo Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656 |
could a cigarette be, only, a cigar's metaphor? |
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r v wooo Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656 |
there is a noticable scent in the smoke. it is a vail with just a tint of "lace", me thinks! |
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Mystress May Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296Taunton, MA |
hehe vain and smokin hot you love to hate me, don't you rv? |
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r v wooo Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656 |
yes! but it is not a hate/hate kind of feeling. it is more like a love/hate thing. i am attracted to your behavior, your wit and the heat that you radiate. you possess a skill...and an energy i find appealing. it is a form of expressive freedom..."the sweet bird of youth". |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
ooooo r v wooo has a crush on you May ROTFL!!!!!!!!! J/K im just acting immature on this lol ~Zach~ |
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r v wooo Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656 |
in reference to your chaos/order question, refer back to the poem, "detoted". |
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Mystress May Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296Taunton, MA |
Zach.... I have to say, I have that affect on people must be my errr sparkling personality? hahahhaahahahaha |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
hahahahahahhahahahahahahha sure what ever you say May hahahaha ~Zach~ |
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