My Black Heart ( repost) - pipTalk Forums

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spunkygirl
Junior Member

since 2007-09-18

Posts 46

0 posted 2007-10-17 10:38 PM

This Black Heart gives rise to the Anger inside
The self loathing of wasted time
Waiting for a miraculous sign of you
Now you are back in my life and this
    Strife that I feel is almost unbearable
You say that you Love me....
    The Wonderful caring loving woman that I am
All this time My Black Heart gives rise
    to the Anger that is inside
You speak of the times when we were together
    In all the pleasure that only a man and woman share
You say come lets play in the meadow
    Let me show you my side of the world...
You might want to move there for it is where I am
No promise are you to make for You are in Love with another
Except if I were to go.....You would quit That Love
And all this time My Black Heart gives rise
    To the Anger that is inside
This Self Loathing of wasted time
Waiting for a miraculous sign of you

I've told you of My Love for You
I've never let it go held it close
   To my Heart no anger to depart your way
For I knew The man that I fell in Love with
   I knew there was a pain of which he could not speak
Unwilling to share for whatever reason
I did not know that it is what made him incapable
of ever falling in love with me
for I gave him all I had to share
That of which I held so dear had not the same
    meaning to you for what it had for me
The sharing of our bodies in unison
    As the pleasure rose and the things we did untold
Now this Black Heart gives rise
    To the Anger that is inside to
This self loathing of wasted time
    Waiting for a miraculous sign of you

I've told you let me go
    You don't need me anymore
You have the one that you came for
    Our lovely child made out of our getting carried
away if only for a day...really I loved you
And all I could think about was pleasing the
    Desire within you from the depths of my soul
Forsaking my beliefs feeling no grief
Until the day that you slept
    And I wept pleading for the health of our child
The promise that I made to God above
    Knowing I would have to let you go
The only man who could make me fold
    to the weak desires of my flesh
Now this Black Heart gives rise
    To the Anger that is inside to
This self loathing of wasted time
Waiting for a miraculous sign of you

I called you up and told you I couldn't do this anymore
I spoke these words in a number of different ways
until you said you got it
I didn't think you understood
     You sounded more hurt than having a clue
I didn't want to hurt you My Love whom I Adore
It's not about not wanting to be a part of your life
Only a friend in the end
     Loving you and not being able to share that
With which we know we are both so good at
Not talking with you could also hurt just as bad
You just don't really seem to understand
And now you don't seem to want to call
You said you weren't mad
In the end you just didn't comprehend
    but would not admit it to yourself
But My Black Heart Gives Rise
     To the Anger that is inside
This Self loathing of wasted time
Waiting for a miraculous sign of YOU
Of which I should have told you from the start
so neither of us would have regrets

Seeker72
Member

since 2007-02-24

Posts 387
Oregon USA

1 posted 2007-10-18 12:46 PM

"Encourage Critiques: No"

Can't say much then.

spunkygirl
Junior Member

since 2007-09-18

Posts 46

2 posted 2007-10-18 10:04 PM

Oh, go ahead and say something. That was an accident!

Seeker72
Member

since 2007-02-24

Posts 387
Oregon USA

3 posted 2007-10-19 12:15 PM

OK.

I'm not one for giving over opinions regarding poetry as my own opinion is that poetry is emotion and emotion is not and never shall be controlled.

Still... there's always a still. ;-)

Punctuation is needed... badly and spacing too, I really liked the poem but I had to add my own Punctuation.

Like I said it was still a good poem.

spunkygirl
Junior Member

since 2007-09-18

Posts 46

4 posted 2007-10-19 09:04 AM

Thank you Seeker, point taken!

Angel101¢¾!
Junior Member

since 2007-10-21

Posts 48
Lost in pain

5 posted 2007-10-25 09:57 PM

sorry but i totally agree with seeker 72 he taught me some good things that realy help my poetry u should listen 2 him

Verg
Member

since 2007-10-25

Posts 52
Colorado

6 posted 2007-10-26 10:24 PM

I love your poem, but don't you just love seeker72 hes amazing

Seeker72
Member

since 2007-02-24

Posts 387
Oregon USA

7 posted 2007-10-26 10:35 PM

I'm still only human.

We all have our faults.

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