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JenniferMaxwell
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since 2006-09-14
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0 posted 2007-10-05 05:37 AM


postcards show elms
in leafy canopy over main street
when she was a girl in the long green light
of a summer two generations ago.
there were acorns and bird's nests,
chestnuts and feathers she treasured
in cardboard shoeboxes from maxim’s
uptown department store.
days were the softness of gathering
lilacs and berries that grew in the wildwood
down by the lily pad pond.
her nights were screened porches
june bugs and fireflies, checkers,
root beer and soft music drifting
through the billowing curtains
on an open window.
she was the girl next door
with a bouquet of orange blossoms
married in white in the church on the hill
to the love of her life, the man
who abandoned both her and the child
long before summer
and the green elms were gone.


[This message has been edited by JenniferMaxwell (10-07-2007 09:02 PM).]

© Copyright 2007 JenniferMaxwell - All Rights Reserved
Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA
1 posted 2007-10-05 12:07 PM


I like it, you can see in your minds eye the place, I feel that it ends too soon... but I would say that I'm not a short poem writer, it just feels like something was left out towards the end.
JenniferMaxwell
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2 posted 2007-10-05 02:04 PM


Excellent point, Seeker. I did edit the ending to make it less personal and think by doing so a lot, perhaps the whole point, was lost. Thanks so much for your input. Very helpful.
JenniferMaxwell
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3 posted 2007-10-05 02:27 PM


And, just to clear it up, the point was that pictures on a postcard, like family history, are often pretty scenes that don't show the reality of trash day with a rubbish barrel sitting in front of every house. Something like that.
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
4 posted 2007-10-07 06:07 PM


I love your poetry!

ARCTIC WIND

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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » postcards from watertown (2)

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