»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #4
»
night shift
| Dark Poetry #4 |
|
night shift |
|
JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
Imagine a forest in an island dream where spinning hands tickedy tock wasteland songs in backward streams filling tea cups with pickling brine. Rooks in mad flight crickety cross checkerboard rivers to watch the Ivory Queen sucking on prawns, a common feast for knightly barrons with bee stung feet. All aboard the Patagonia Choo Choo, strap on your crampons for Perito Moreno. Mind the penguins in the crosswalk, Watty's little engine thinks it can. |
||
| © Copyright 2007 JenniferMaxwell - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
Like it... still it feels a little staggered almost like you stopped halfway through. Still good none the less. |
||
|
JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
Thanks, Seeker72. Good catch, it is a work in progress. |
||
|
Twilight Warrior Member
since 2007-02-22
Posts 106The World That Never Was |
This poem was really cool. I didn't fully understand some things such as, "Perito Moreno". But good write nonetheless. "One last drink and the bottle breaks, returning us to the dust from whence we came" |
||
|
Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crampons http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perito_Moreno_Glacier The true beauty of poetry....we learn. |
||
|
The_Nameless_One Member
since 2007-01-20
Posts 165Missouri |
very nice definitely could tell it is a work in progress I will enjoy reading the remaining verses when this is complete. For some unknown reason made me instantly go to Steven King's Dark Tower Series especially "wasteland songs in backward streams filling tea cups with pickling brine." and also "Rooks in mad flight crickety cross checkerboard rivers to watch the Ivory Queen sucking on prawns, a common feast for knightly barrons with bee stung feet. All aboard the Patagonia Choo Choo," Very "Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came"-ish http://www.thedarktower.net/browning/text at least for me anyways if you haven't read this poem I think you will enjoy it very much I haven't met anyone who doesn't. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
