»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #4
»
Of Life and Death
| Dark Poetry #4 |
|
Of Life and Death |
|
|
Grand_Daddy_Tale_Spinner New Member
since 2007-02-23
Posts 6 |
Why does life come teathered to death? Why must we fall, like all of the rest. Can not we live with humbling minds? Must we walk in the dark, with blind folded eye's. Have I not bled an ocean of trust. To be left in the bone-yard, awaiting my dust. I follow and lead and letch to this life. To swallow and breath relieving the strife. Must it be numbing, sucumbing to scorn. A slip and a tumble into a bed full of thorns. Was I not warned of the advancement of pain? Heart-ache to a sinner, is bountiful gain. Be I not willing or woed to my core. Have I not given till there is nothing more? Have you not noticed or hurried to see, that the claws of your hurt now tear into me. So now I must travel and see for myself. Instead of sitting waiting on the bottom shelf. I know you are out there awaiting my call, and next time I won't be so scared to fall. |
||
| © Copyright 2007 Grand_Daddy_Tale_Spinner - All Rights Reserved | |||
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
I like this, the words and everything, but the structure i think it would be nicer to read if it were in stanzas. smaller lines ah and, I have not seen you here before so Welcome to Dark. hunnie  ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ |
||
|
Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
Hmm... I have to agree with hunnie.(yet again) It would probably be better in stanzas. Anywho I still like it. Lots of luv Kira |
||
|
Twilight Warrior Member
since 2007-02-22
Posts 106The World That Never Was |
Well, I won't repeat their suggestion....so good write. And welcome to the site. |
||
|
chiLanta Junior Member
since 2006-12-01
Posts 47 |
i like how you used your words, good poem, i feel the pain that helped make this poem, good write |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
