Dark Poetry #4 |
OCEANIA |
xEmperorEmber Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 136tx |
This boxss it catn quit Ive GOT this victory GIN and a cigarette Victory too You bet This sore ITS not healiNg This Box IS Hearingme Mi mynd is deadened YOU GIVE A CHILD A TOY AND THEY WILL BE QUIeT YOU GIVE A CHILD A TOY AND THEY FORGET YOU HIT THEM YOU GIVE A NATION YOUGIVE A NATION WHAT HAVE THEY GIVEN ME My MYnd is NUMB |
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© Copyright 2006 Jimi Hendrix - All Rights Reserved | |||
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
no, it was awesome. but the only thing i can think to make it better is maybe reread it cuz you have letters in wrong places like catn i know it means can't but it waould be easier to read hunnie ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ |
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secret_truth_lies Member
since 2006-11-14
Posts 74 |
I think it looks fine. It makes it have more attitude in the write/poem. I thought you did an awesome job on this, and hoping I'll see more from you on here soon. |
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