navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » A Shoulder Voice
Dark Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic A Shoulder Voice Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville

0 posted 2006-10-06 01:56 PM



I wandered slowly into town

Don’t paint those green fields hawthorn lined
And apple blossom boughs that don’t exist,
Paint soot grained dreary terraced streets
Where cancer coughs best cherub smiles
And dark diseases happy play upon each kiss.

Saw people busy milling as I went

Don’t picture windmills; lies of never tasted bread
Or whiff of flour; nor chaff nor wheat on stone,
See prophets claiming boots from undead men,
As undead men claim death in naked feet
Alone amid the crow crowd stench and drone

Caught lilac meadows on the breeze

You saw the flowers didn’t you? Wipe them away,
I swear you’d paint bright daffodils on Dante’s sole.
The scent’s the posies fanned to mask the walking dead
Who, riddled with the worm of plague, are cosseted
Behind nailed doors - shuttered from life’s rigmarole

And guessed my muse was heaven sent

Well guess again.



© Copyright 2006 Grinch - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2006-10-06 09:12 PM


Very much enjoyed this Grinch.

I've a dark humor at times, and I don't know you well enough to gauge the intent, but I found myself grinning.

Thank you very much for this'n.


Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville
2 posted 2006-10-07 03:34 PM



Some people write darker poetry some people write theirs on the light side, I was just musing on whether some or none of it came from the same place.

I know it looks like a cut and paste critique - that's just a bonus - I wrote this way back. HONEST!

shatteredsilver
Member
since 2005-03-31
Posts 63
middle of nowhere
3 posted 2006-10-21 10:14 PM


I love this piece!

Not at all what I expected, and wonderful for it. The feeling that the litle muse is being evil today, when people complain that your pieces are too depressing...

I laughed at the last line.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » A Shoulder Voice

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary