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Dark Poetry #4

Identity

sgreybe
Member

since 2000-04-28

Posts 209
London, UK

0 posted 2006-09-14 06:52 AM

IDENTITY:

Once dedicated always cruel laments
Of what was or should have been
The "subtlety" of people's beliefs and views
Released in words and anxious screams

A lifetime of hopes and dreams relent
Under the pressure of others' views
Buried beneath the weighted smiles of
This life we're forced to choose

*Identity built or born dismayed
The long, lifetime struggle displayed

***Sylvia 17/08/06***

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-09-17 02:06 AM

Hi sgraybe,

As I have only read one of your poems before this, or so I believe, I find that I like your style. Yes, what I have read is shorter than most poems but I find that I like that, it carries a more powerful punch then something long with extra fluff. I find this poem to be no exception to what I’ve mentioned. I like how you are able to say what you want to say but still give it a bit of shimmer to make it interesting.

Thanks again for sharing

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
@-->---

Philmont
Member

since 2004-01-10

Posts 61

2 posted 2006-09-17 07:17 PM

Cool poem. Yeah it sucks how people always tell us how we should see ourselves. But that's what society is for, right? If society didn't do that then it couldn't hold together properly.

Anyway, like the quick ending of the poem.

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