Dark Poetry #4 |
Im Fine |
Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
The angel flys on wings of dark Bestowe upon her Your dead heart Those forsaken tears were cried And i died that fatefull night With you at my side You were laughing all the while I called out your name Just hoping for some help That never came I cant break free When trapted by society I die at the thought of you And all the things you put me through It makes me sick to see you standing there Like everythings fine Like everythings okay While you carry on with your fake laughs I drift farther away Its just not right Whatever you can tell your self To help you sleep at night Im fine |
||
© Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved | |||
lanaia74 Member
since 2006-08-25
Posts 67 |
AWESOME! |
||
nick_lyss Member
since 2006-08-21
Posts 88 |
i like this poem. its amazing |
||
cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
Man I love your work this was a(n) excellent poem. I hope to see more from you in the future, Thanx for sharing with us. |
||
TwiztidKarma Junior Member
since 2006-09-22
Posts 43Florida |
Word |
||
trUstNooNe Member
since 2006-05-21
Posts 91 |
LOVE IT! |
||
Khatharsis Junior Member
since 2006-05-21
Posts 42 |
wow... this was amazingly awesome, bro! GREAT PEICE!!!! U have gained another fan lol. P.S. Could ya peep my "Your Hand in Mind", whenever ya get the chance. Would mean alot. Thanks a mill an thanks for sharing. |
||
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
yes, a beautiful piece. I enjoyed this poem a lot... hunnie* A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
||
Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
This was good, my favorite part was - "Its just not right Whatever you can tell your self To help you sleep at night" Well said. "My soul is adrift in oceans of madness |
||
poison New Member
since 2006-10-13
Posts 2malaysia |
the opening caught my attention. but towards the end it got a bit too cliche. everythings? trapt? is it just me,but i don't get them. =X i hope you do not get too offended =), these are just my humble opinions. |
||
Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
define cliche |
||
shatteredsilver Member
since 2005-03-31
Posts 63middle of nowhere |
I die at the thought of you This struck me for some reason. Well done. The only thing I didn't like was the second adn third lines - I would have combined them to match the rest of the poem. But that's me |
||
patience_iago Member
since 2006-08-30
Posts 54 |
Love it. "There are some days where i believe i might die of an overdose of satisfaction" |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |