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Dark Poetry #4
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Macabre Wish
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Macabre Wish |
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lace_of_light Junior Member
since 2006-08-02
Posts 44 |
I love the sound of the settling dark The way the silence leaves it's mark The world is blanketed in a veil of black The creatures are awaiting their chance to attack All around, evil quietly stirs And the fear in you your body incurs The shadows diminish your mind They leave only an empty shell behind This incubus shall never cease As you're torn apart, piece by piece Even if light your being finds Darkness still grows in you and your heart it binds Your soul blackens and your thoughts drift As through the shadows you carefully sift The sinsiter laugh calls from the grave The phantoms through the mausoleum walls rave The hours of darkness are just begun As your memories fade, one by one You become an obscurity to the earth You forget your death, your life, even your birth A wandering spirit from afar A bard of your kind, the dwellers of the dark Sadly you sing the features of loss The tale of death is your newest boss The wraith of destruction to the human ear They run in terror, it's certainly clear The undead of this life are much misunderstood They'd find rest if only they could The headstones begin to rot and decay And yet you're still restlessly wandering each and every day The others among us do not seem to see The pain you suffer, your terrible fee Oh, how you cry Into the darkness of the night sky But no one will save you, wretched creature of the abyss Alone forever, your lost and will never be missed But I respect your valor, your strength and power Even though you haunt the houses and the ominous bell tower You trouble my mind and disturb my sleep You tell me secrets I alone must keep And I have never failed So maybe one day your world will be unveiled That you may have an everlasting respite And never have to face the cold night Hold on for a few more days A few more years, months, and I'll find a way You'll be home Not alone But with the ones who've gone on before The lights will be on and open is the door Step into the light for a second time And others soon shall mime Then the dead will have thier rest And my job will be done, I'll have passed the test So wait for me now And I'll fix this somehow The dead will have thier rest "areyouinorareyouout? eitherwayyoucan'twin." he said. "butthefallwillbefantasticandwhat'sleftisnothinglessthanperfection" |
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| © Copyright 2006 lace_of_light - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Digital_Hell Member
since 2006-06-05
Posts 202Amidst black roses |
I love it! its very well written and flows excellently from one line to the next. I found it very sad, yet it seemed to end on a hopefull note with the promise of respite? Am i right in assuming that? I found the start of the poem amazing, it seized my attention and the poem held it throughout. Though i must ask, the last few lines seemed to be in defiance? A Promise of doing anything to free those imprisoned by death and dwelling in undeath? quote:I found these lines especially beautifull. They speak of such pain and suffering. Strangely enough i could relate to the feeling this "ghost" was going through. the emotion was expressed quite well i felt. And the imagery was extraordinary. Though i must ask what you meant by "You trouble my mind and disturb my sleep You tell me secrets I alone must keep" Would you be speaking of thigns humans arnt suppose to dabble in? such as magick? And also the title is "Macabre Wish" do you consider freeing the dead from their prison this wish? Or being trapped in death the wish? Dont ever doubt yourself. you are a very good writer. Keep up the good work, i look forward to seeing more. I can see you are going to become my favourite with a bit of work  And lastly i havent seen you before so... Welcome to PIP talk! hope you enjoy it here! And if you ever need help just ask. hells gate reads Abandon hope all ye that enter here shall we go? the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Will you walk with me? |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
this is an excellent piece of work, lace |
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axslayerxisxborn Junior Member
since 2006-08-03
Posts 10 |
pretty good |
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Bobomo Junior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 35 |
Very nice work! My only suggestion is that you seperate the stanzas for easier reading on such a long, vivid poem. |
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zigwield Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 61 |
It is pretty cool, keep it up  |
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