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Dark Poetry #4
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Combustion
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Combustion |
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rockbabe Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 105 |
Hollow Eyes, Quivering Body, I lay beneath My victim tonight Steel made so perfectly Slay, so distinctively With every thrust, Releasing excruciation As soul departs carcass, being caressed By one last breath Slithering out from underneath Last glance from above, Visually content... The end of an Existence The beginning of Internal Combustion |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"Hollow Eyes, Quivering Body, I lay beneath My victim tonight Steel made so perfectly Slay, so distinctively With every thrust, Releasing excruciation As soul departs carcass, being caressed By one last breath" My favorite parts in the whole poem, as seen above^^ You described everything yet didn't waste time on needless words. I liked that. I'm not I really understand the ending with the "internal combustion" but i know i didn't expect that. It added a certain kind of twist to the poem which i liked. Made it more unique... Excellent write by you, I enjoyed it  @-->--- |
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gyrl_blue Junior Member
since 2006-06-15
Posts 20Stuck In Reality |
The end of an Existence The beginning of Internal Combustion I think "Internal Combustion" is the -beginning of the end- for the slayer.. yeah I got it? *OR* no,you dont know what I'm talking about? either way very nice, I enjoyed reading it! -No Stranger To The Rain- |
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Alone in the dark Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 105On the edge of an abyss |
Now THIS is my kind of poem. It just oozes WICKEDNESS! Oh, what I wouldn't give for that kind of power.....   ^*^Angel^*^ |
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rockbabe Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 105 |
Yes gyrl_blue...that is exactly what I meant by "Internal Combustion". Thanks alot for all your comments. Greatly appreciated. Thanks R |
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