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Dark Poetry #4
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Let me loose
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Let me loose |
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zigwield Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 61 |
I love you but i need back my life i need back my free will i know i did not respect some of this i know you might respect more of this i was not born to submit like this i cannot operate in such ways just again let me loose never made steps like this and i am afraid for the first time more than ever i make these steps i was not born to submit like this i just need again my free will you do have some kind of mercy you must have i cannot operate in such ways zigwield [savra] |
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| © Copyright 2006 zigwield - All Rights Reserved | |||
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zigwield Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 61 |
baby cries baby cries you do not feel baby feels ready to cry but you are mercyless maybe i cannot take such a huge weight i can't live if i have to lose |
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zigwield Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 61 |
not made by crystal not a rack not made of porcelain not made to me submited i need back my free will i love you i love you but i was not made for this i do not belong anywhere you love my life more than i love mine i love your life but i do not respect simple things of life you can be my joy you can be my hell never before one person had for me such a power i love You i love You what can i do? with great fear i ask what are You going to do? |
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zigwield Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 61 |
You respect my life more than i respect mine my life has been Yours just from the beginning that i did not know You determine me You lead me You direct me You can only set me free if i am the ice with your fires you will turn me to water but i am so afraid that one day you will vaporize me my sweet sweet vampire just do not become my hell |
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Digital_Hell Member
since 2006-06-05
Posts 202Amidst black roses |
Very touching. i can say that i have felt that way. where someone is everything to you, and yet you fear losing them, fear they will destroy you. Very nice! but i musk ask why posted in different pieces? hells gate reads Abandon hope all ye that enter here |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
I also must ask the same thing on why you posted 4 poems on the same thread? Welcome to pip btw! I loved the first poem, it was touching, sad, and slightly lost? It had so many emotions in it for me, I couldn't even begin to name them all... Thanks for sharing this piece with me, it's a little reminder that in some things i'm not alone  @-->--- |
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Walter Poe Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787 |
I must assume you wrote this in 4 parts as it does seem to add up to one poem Maybe i'm wrong the initial piece does not seem complete or dark but as a whole it is. Maybe you have done it to stand out who knows. anyway it is a dark in the whole and it does work but seems a bit blocky each part seperates and loses some fluidity. If it is 4 separate poems its slightly an odd thing to do but aren't we all a little odd? I went to the desert on a horse with no name, it felt good to get out of the rain. |
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zigwield Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 61 |
Thanks for the comments !! Well i just wrote them and forgot to edit them. sorry! Will continue. Hope 'She' replies...  [not loose - just a small rest] All day i just think of You i lose all other functions fear to the whole of my body an unexpected shadow unexpected love i just want to be with You and please do not abandon me but not that mercyless which is nicely weird but let me know You as You know me i love You i live for You i do not depart i live for You even if You tear me appart even if You sometimes break my heart i keep on going just because of You i walk with You i follow You but allow me to take my time [This message has been edited by zigwield (06-27-2006 11:27 AM).] |
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