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Dark Poetry #4
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A brothers embrace
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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A brothers embrace |
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Digital_Hell Member
since 2006-06-05
Posts 202Amidst black roses |
Heaven was never trully a goal for torture is in my soul. To live in eternal grace the thought makes me hide my face. i stare at the place where the devil fell and wonder, will i descend to hell? But staring at this barren waste Should i not make haste? The gate reads "Abandon hope all ye that enter here" what hollow words, they stike in me no fear I walk in tall and proud and it is announced quite loud. A large lake of fire, a castle with a moat. And there at last is the accursed goat But he does not mock me or unload scorn for he knows how it bleeds, a heart that is torn. where i was never welcome at the feast always hated and judged by a priest. But the devil he was always there to lend only now too late do i realise hes my friend. He offers me a hand and i take it limply his aged wise face is filled with sympathy. the pain, the sorrow, the torment understandingly embraceing me as a brother. hells gate reads Abandon hope all ye that enter here |
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gyrl_blue Junior Member
since 2006-06-15
Posts 20Stuck In Reality |
"WoW" was my first thought after reading this. Well put, stark, intense, and again "WoW" (hehe) I look forward reading more from you! |
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Sorrow Member
since 2006-06-14
Posts 83Ireland |
Excellent poem! I've never read a poem that shows the devil in a good light, it's such a dark and clever idea. I loved this!! |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Very gripping words. Interesting concept. believe in what your heart feels... |
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niere Member
since 2006-04-23
Posts 77 |
Very striking and chilling poem - And most definitely unique. It's not everyday you hear/see 'devil', 'brother' and 'embrace' all in the same line lol. A brilliant piece  |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"Heaven was never trully a goal for torture is in my soul. To live in eternal grace the thought makes me hide my face. i stare at the place where the devil fell and wonder, will i descend to hell? But staring at this barren waste Should i not make haste?" I love this poem, it's full of so much lost hope and... emptiness? It's hard to explain the feelings I get when I read this! I did love the stanzas I posted above a lot, my favorite part. The first stanza because it talks about living in eternal grace and "you" can't bear that thought, it was an interesting way to look at it. The second stanza because you are wondering about the devil and if you will go to hell also, I think that lots of people will and do wonder that at points in their lives... Awesome work on this, like I said I loved those two stanzas a lot, they, to me, is the best part in the whole poem! I can't wait to read more, thanks for sharing  @-->--- |
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Bobomo Junior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 35 |
I have to admit, "Wow" was my first thought too. Very powerful! To find solace, acceptance even sympathy in the forsaken, the cast out. Taking his hand limpy really brings across (to me) that this person's strength has finally given out, that it's finally ok to let out the pain. |
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the quell Member
since 2006-07-19
Posts 144Liverpool, UK |
Alarmingly good. Intense and very well-constructed. I loved the power of these lines: i stare at the place where the devil fell and wonder, will i descend to hell? Some of the imagery was truly bone-chilling; nice work my friend! Where black, bleeding roses await the Thirteen, |
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Venus1974 Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 79Tennessee, USA |
Wow I think everyone before me has already expressed my thoughts too...WOW very strong words and an intresting look at that side well written and still WOW impacting... Peace and happiness to us all, Venus |
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lace_of_light Junior Member
since 2006-08-02
Posts 44 |
I can't help but say great write! It is so much like some of my work. It would be disturbing to anyone who didn't know just how you think. I love it because it speaks to me like I try to speak to others. ~Thanks a million and two~ "areyouinorareyouout? eitherwayyoucan'twin." he said. "butthefallwillbefantasticandwhat'sleftisnothinglessthanperfection" |
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Digital_Hell Member
since 2006-06-05
Posts 202Amidst black roses |
Thank you all for your comment. It makes it easier to bring the dark out. |
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Decriel Junior Member
since 2006-08-08
Posts 27 |
A low sweeping bow is a reply to this my brother, you know of who i am and of what i speak, again i say bravo |
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