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Dark Poetry #4
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Digital_Hell
Member
since 2006-06-05
Posts 202
Amidst black roses

0 posted 2006-06-20 11:55 AM



Heaven was never trully a goal
for torture is in my soul.
To live in eternal grace
the thought makes me hide my face.

i stare at the place where the devil fell
and wonder, will i descend to hell?
But staring at this barren waste
Should i not make haste?

The gate reads "Abandon hope all ye that enter here"
what hollow words, they stike in me no fear
I walk in tall and proud
and it is announced quite loud.

A large lake of fire, a castle with a moat.
And there at last is the accursed goat
But he does not mock me or unload scorn
for he knows how it bleeds, a heart that is torn.

where i was never welcome at the feast
always hated and judged by a priest.
But the devil he was always there to lend
only now too late do i realise hes my friend.

He offers me a hand and i take it limply
his aged wise face is filled with sympathy.
the pain, the sorrow, the torment understandingly
embraceing me as a brother.


hells gate reads Abandon hope all ye that enter here
shall we go?
the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Will you walk with me?

© Copyright 2006 Digital_Hell - All Rights Reserved
gyrl_blue
Junior Member
since 2006-06-15
Posts 20
Stuck In Reality
1 posted 2006-06-20 02:48 PM


"WoW" was my first thought after reading this. Well put, stark, intense, and again "WoW" (hehe) I look forward reading more from you!  
Sorrow
Member
since 2006-06-14
Posts 83
Ireland
2 posted 2006-06-21 01:05 PM


Excellent poem! I've never read a poem that shows the devil in a good light, it's such a dark and clever idea. I loved this!!
scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
3 posted 2006-06-21 03:05 PM


Very gripping words.  Interesting concept.

believe in what your heart feels...

niere
Member
since 2006-04-23
Posts 77

4 posted 2006-06-22 06:28 AM


Very striking and chilling poem - And most definitely unique. It's not everyday you hear/see 'devil', 'brother' and 'embrace' all in the same line lol.

A brilliant piece


stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
5 posted 2006-07-20 07:11 PM


"Heaven was never trully a goal
for torture is in my soul.
To live in eternal grace
the thought makes me hide my face.

i stare at the place where the devil fell
and wonder, will i descend to hell?
But staring at this barren waste
Should i not make haste?"



I love this poem, it's full of so much lost hope and... emptiness? It's hard to explain the feelings I get when I read this!

I did love the stanzas I posted above a lot, my favorite part. The first stanza because it talks about living in eternal grace and "you" can't bear that thought, it was an interesting way to look at it. The second stanza because you are wondering about the devil and if you will go to hell also, I think that lots of people will and do wonder that at points in their lives...

Awesome work on this, like I said I loved those two stanzas a lot, they, to me, is the best part in the whole poem! I can't wait to read more, thanks for sharing

@-->---

Bobomo
Junior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 35

6 posted 2006-07-23 12:44 PM


I have to admit, "Wow" was my first thought too. Very powerful! To find solace, acceptance even sympathy in the forsaken, the cast out. Taking his hand limpy really brings across (to me) that this person's strength has finally given out, that it's finally ok to let out the pain.
the quell
Member
since 2006-07-19
Posts 144
Liverpool, UK
7 posted 2006-07-23 04:41 PM


Alarmingly good. Intense and very well-constructed. I loved the power of these lines:

i stare at the place where the devil fell
and wonder, will i descend to hell?

Some of the imagery was truly bone-chilling; nice work my friend!

Where black, bleeding roses await the Thirteen,
I see not the stars, but the darkness between

Venus1974
Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 79
Tennessee, USA
8 posted 2006-07-23 10:08 PM


Wow I think everyone before me has already expressed my thoughts too...WOW very strong words and an intresting look at that side well written and still WOW impacting...

Peace and happiness to us all, Venus

lace_of_light
Junior Member
since 2006-08-02
Posts 44

9 posted 2006-08-03 12:11 PM


I can't help but say great write! It is so much like some of my work. It would be disturbing to anyone who didn't know just how you think. I love it because it speaks to me like I try to speak to others.

~Thanks a million and two~

"areyouinorareyouout? eitherwayyoucan'twin." he said. "butthefallwillbefantasticandwhat'sleftisnothinglessthanperfection"

Silver and Cold...but Gir

Digital_Hell
Member
since 2006-06-05
Posts 202
Amidst black roses
10 posted 2006-08-03 03:13 AM


Thank you all for your comment. It makes it easier to bring the dark out.
Decriel
Junior Member
since 2006-08-08
Posts 27

11 posted 2006-08-08 01:52 PM


A low sweeping bow is a reply to this my brother, you know of who i am and of what i speak, again i say bravo

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